I’m new to relationships and sexual encounters, known this girl for almost a year (only started dating the start of this month) and we tried to start having sex this year. But because I’m new to it, I feel I’m in my head abt it. I’m a very fit individual who does competitive sports so physically defo not problem. But I can get erect but just lose it before even starting. Or when I do start I finish almost instantly. It’s taking a toll on our relationship too like if we can’t have sex good then we can’t be together. Another problem also I produce heaps of precum when around her even if we are just cuddling or kissing or what not.
Surely I’m not the only one like this….
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Dude. I am 23 and in the exact same boat. Physically fit, but my erections disappear quickly and when we have sex I bust quick. And yeah the precum thing too
I have had very limited sexual encounters in the past and feel a bit of shame about it. Still figuring it all out and trying to resolve this. I really feel this woman is the girl of my dreams but I’m really afraid of what might happen if I can’t overcome this
I don’t have anything to help, but I’m exploring different avenues and will let you know what works for me. I hope it helps that yours not alone.
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Appreciate the reply legend!!! We will both overcome this:oncoming_fist:
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I have the same issue with extreme amounts of pre-come and have also had a similar issue with erections . I believe the pre-cum has nothing to do with the erection issue. But psychologically you’re convincing yourself that it does which leads to loosing in the erection . You have to turn it into something positive . Remember the pre-come was designed for lubrication . Kind of cool that we have so much of it. It can be kind of a turn on for my wife and she loves the taste of it. This changed everything for me with it. Second to that when it comes to the erection issue not sure how old you are I am 47. I did have this issue early with my first sexual encounter but was able to overcome as I got comfortable with significant other. Been with my wife now for over 15 years and we’ve had a great sex life until recently when the issue has popped up again. I also climax early now because I feel like I’m trying to rush penetration so I don’t lose erection. The good news is I am making progress with this and no I can overcome as I have in the past. I believe our issue is 99% psychological and the key is figuring out how to battle and overcome your inner voice . The breathing exercises have been huge and also communication with my wife has been a game changer. Good luck!
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Yeah man! I am 22, like as we both said shouldn’t have a problem with it but yeah psychological is the biggest factor for sure!
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I’m 24 and have been in the same boat. I’ve been with my new partner coming up to 6 months. In the first month it was exactlythis. Either losing my erection or coming quick.
What helped me massively is just talking to her about it. Explain what’s going on, and if she’s the right one for you, she’ll be able to support you whilst you work on yourself.
In a couple months time I massively improved.
Still not completely in the place I want to be in, but far better than that first month
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Yeah dude, with my partner she understands but it’s come to the point where she is so built up she needs a release (maybe getting her off) so yeah I want her to be able to release
Yeah honestly get her off as well. If I worked myself up too much, I just put all my focus onto her. Gives her that much needed release, but can also ease the anxiety of performing
Just wanted to jump in, it’s great to hear I’m not on my own and hopefully it’s the same with you all too. I have exactly the same issue, been with my partner for 5 years and always had a great sex life until I found out she was texting a lad she’d previously been with. This was 7 months ago and to be fair I’ve read the texts and he messaged her out of the blue and she was only replying back out of politeness really. The back story is that my ex wife cheated on me and I found out through her texting the other lad so it massively triggered me. Since then I can get hard but it always goes soft. Now it’s just a vicious circle. My girlfriend is very understanding but I just can’t break the cycle, also I’ve started not lasting long as well. I’ve only just joined here as I want to get it sorted.
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Hey just wanted to reach out to you on the new premature issue you are dealing with. I went through the same thing after getting my ED issue mostly sorted. Was so focused on getting and keeping an erection that I would cum pretty quickly. After about a month or so of working on that I’m back to my normal 10-15 minutes. Really once I quit totally worrying about my erection it sorted itself out. Yesterday morning during sex I was pretty reved up since we had to put off sex twice due to life. So I had to use the squeeze technique twice and resorted to pinching my inner thigh to make it almost ten minutes to where she could cum first. Focus on the squeeze technique module. Has helped me tremendously. Good luck man
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Thank you for the reply, reassurance and advice. Really appreciate it it, I know it’s a head thing and I’ll definitely use the squeeze technique and thigh pinch