So I can easily get an erection from when my partner even just lightly kisses my neck or during foreplay, I can kind of time it to maybe 5 minutes max where I’ll keep a hard erection but then after that, even when I’m still mentally aroused (like thinking about what I’m doing or listening to the sounds/moans my partner is making), I somehow will just randomly lose my erection. Why is this happening???
For context, I just started having sex just a little over a month ago. Prior to that, just porn and masturbation. Do y’all think this issue is just due to just a lack of sexual experience, and will it improve with time and/or more experience?
It can honestly be both
I have this too, I feel like I can get it up no worries as long as I’m actually horny.. but maintaining it for me seems to be a challenge when I have a moment of ‘check in’ once things get going. For me it can be the feeling of being responsible for their pleasure and that puts pressure on me, as soon as that happens it’s fight or flight and I lose it. I’ve also had situations where I just wasn’t physically attracted to the girl I was with and it turned me off to the point where things just didn’t happen. The exercises here have helped me unravel some of what the causes are and I’m working through it - As long as you’re not feeling discomfort when you’re hard, pretty sure it’s a mental one man.
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Yeah. Was doing an exercise where it says I’m more focused on my partner’s pleasure despite feeling disappointed about my own experience (due to the erection losses) and that makes a very bad cycle… I’m a little impatient and am feeling frustrated that this is taking a while to get fixed 
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It might just be a bandaid, but sounds like you need to break out a cock ring. If nothing else it can let you have an enjoyable time. Then maybe try without after a couple successful goes. Just an idea. If you want to make it a fun game with your partner, go to the sex shop together and pick out a couple. Maybe one with a vibrator for the clit. Again, just an idea. I don’t know y’all’s level of comfort with that sorta thing.
I feel like there might be instances of performance anxiety in play. I experience this as well. It can be relatively easy to turn me on and to get me erect. The more I realize sex might be taking place, the more I begin to worry about how I will perform in making them finish. This pressure can trigger the fight or flight and cause you to lose it. If youre able to consistently get an erection on your own and sustain it u til you finish, you are most likely facing some sort of psychological ED.
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