I’m in my late twenties and recently married. It is my only serious relationship and my only sexual partner. I’ve always had issues with maintaining erection and performance anxiety and it has been a tricky thing for our relationship. I’ve done a lot of work through mojo and speaking about my issues in recent years and I know I can enjoy myself in sex and connect with my wife, and we have had a lot of success and good times. In the past my issue was always staying hard / being hard enough for intercourse. Things have changed recently, we were in a really good period and I felt the best I ever have e.g not worrying about sex and just enjoying the moment.
We suffered a miscarriage a few months ago and this has affected me. My drive dipped and I have put pressure on myself as my wife has wanted more sex and more closeness. My issue now is I can get hard and start intercourse, but now more often than not I lose my erection and can’t reach climax - I don’t know if I am just not enjoying it as much or have just got into a bad cycle and can’t break out of it, or something else. It’s really getting to me and I feel like back at square one and feeling quite helpless about getting back to a good point with sex.
My wife is generally supportive but is losing patience and hope - we are quite open in talking about it. She wants me to just flip a switch and enjoy the moment and stop letting bad thoughts come into my head. It’s true - I am quite down about life in general and worried about the future and no doubt this is affecting me in bed.
I also work with my wife in quite a stressful job and see her basically all the time and we wonder if that is making it harder to connect in the bedroom.
I just want this to be something that isn’t on my mind all the time - it feels like the story of my life and I can’t think about anything else. I am very confused and worried about the fact I am now losing my erection in intercourse, this was never an issue in the past and I always enjoyed intercourse once we started it. Appreciate any thoughts or help guys out there might have - thanks!