Met my new partner for sex tonight. It’s the 3rd time. Each time it’s gotten worse and today total inability to perform. I spent 2 weeks fearing failure and it happened. I’m upset but she wasn’t. Really want to run away.
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Ik it’s hard but you gotta get out of your head man. I was stuck in the same position as you. It’s all about mindset. If you’re thinking about failure 2 weeks before it happens what do you think is gonna happen? Obviously you’re gonna fail. But if you have positive thoughts and know you’re going to have a good experience what do you think will happen? You’ll have a good experience. Start meditating to reduce your stress and start living in the moment. All that worrying is gonna do is set you back and make things worse. Failing can eat you up mentally and physically, trust me I’ve been there, but after doing the activities in this app and focusing on bettering myself, my mindset totally changed. Don’t be too hard on yourself, you’re human, everyone makes mistakes and falls short all the time, just don’t let it define you.
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The CBT course I just did on here was really helpful. Challenge your inner thoughts with hard facts. For example “I won’t be able to get hard with my new partner”. You could challenge it with, “I’ve gotten hard with many new partners in the past, so there’s no evidence it doesn’t work at all”
How do I get out of my head?
What is CBT?
The app has tools to help with overthinking - especially in the meditation options. I hope this suggestion helps
There’s lot’s of ways. You can go for a walk to clear your head, journal and write a brain dump of everything you’re thinking, workout to relieve some stress, meditate, start learning to be more present and realize your conscious thoughts are just thoughts and don’t hold any value. It’ll take time but if you keep working at it I promise it’ll get better. Also another thing that could help is if you catch yourself thinking all the time and worrying, shift your perspective. say if you know you’re going to have sex this weekend, instead of thinking “oh no I’m gonna have sex this weekend I won’t get it up”. Instead, think “I get to have sex this weekend and I can’t wait to enjoy that intimacy with someone I care about”