Trying and failing

🍆 Erection issues
1

I tried to follow the exercises, not daily due to business travels, but still really trying to do it. Also I reduced porn heavily and mainly I only edge.
Didnt see my girlfriend for some weeks and yesterday night I felt confident until a point where it hit my head again and I lost my erection. Later on we played around again and she jerked me off, super hard and came.
As soon as I thought of penetration I got soft and stuck in my head. Really frustrating to not be able to penetrate after so long and (felt) effort.
She is really supportive but today I feel miserable, like if the 3 week absence and work didnt help what can help?!?

Any ideas how to cope and get back on track? Anyone with similar experience?

I just dont know if its ok to try and try again when I feel its ok or to just not try again for a few weeks.
Also thinking of going to a doctor or psychologist.

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Hey there,

Let me start by saying it’s really great that you’ve got a supportive girlfriend – sometimes getting a partner onboard to working with you can be half the battle.

What happens to your thoughts when you go soft? Have you tried writing them down and then responding to them (similar to the inner critic exercise)? It sounds like you’re really tough on yourself, which might be putting your nervous system into fight or flight mode.

One positive about feeling frustrated is that when we are in that phase, a study shows it helps signal to our brain that it needs to learn something new, which eventually makes it easier to make change happen. So I’d suggest leaning into the frustration and sticking to it. Keep trying, don’t give up — change takes time!

A therapist is definitely a great idea as they could counsel you throughout this process.

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