Whenever my girlfriend and I make out, shes giving me oral sex or handjob my erection is really hard. When it comes time for sex I cant maintain an erection. Its troubling me a lot seeing my girlfriend cry, thinking like shes the problem as i dont find her attractive enough, when shes not the problem and im fully attracted to her. Ive been on the app for few weeks but not doing much so far for me. Any suggestions?
6 Likes
Sorry to hear man, I’m going through the exact same thing with my girlfriend right now, seeing her sad because she thinks it’s her fault can only make things worse, you gotta stay positive and reassure her that’s not the reason for this issue. The thing is with me and my girlfriend is that I’ve grown to be transparent with her about it, this could be easy or hard though depending on how you as a guy share your feelings. But if she understands clearly why it’s happening and how your feeling, it helps her understand that it’s not because of anything like her looks, being transparent can also help yourself, like lifting a weight off your shoulders. Doing this strengthened my relationship especially in the tough times. Hope this helped.
6 Likes
Agreed, non-judgmental and open communication is key. Going through the exact same thing at the moment, it wasn’t a huge issue before as my partner wasn’t that into PIV sex due to some past trauma but she’s wanting it more these days and I’m struggling to live up to that.
But we’ve started talking about it more. Before, during and after sex. Even the process of opening up to someone about your worries starts to lift the pressure.
Out of the last two times we’ve had sex the first ended up with me losing my erection and getting in my own head about it that I was a failure, a disappointment etc. but we spoke about it at length and the next time we went in with zero expectations of outcome, apart from to have fun with each other. Needless to say when that expectation was gone I was able to maintain an erection when it came to PIV sex and we both had a great time.
There’s no quick fixes with this, and it really helps to have buy in from your partner. It’s a journey for both of you and that needs to have a foundation of communication.
4 Likes
Pls if you masturbate put an end to it
Thanks for the advice, very helpful! Wish you the best
1 Like
I dont masturbate that often. You re saying to stop masturbating at all will be the solution?
And I don’t watch porn at all
1 Like
Thank you! Wish you the best
I know it sounds crazy but try lying on your back. The same type of thing happens to me every few times my wife and I have sex. When it happens we ‘reset’ and I start on my back. It may be part psychological and also part physical. Lower blood pressure, more relaxed and I’m on my back. Maybe that will help. Just an idea.
I think masturbating in the right way is healthy (as this app suggests). Light touch, lube, mindful, don’t rush.
Quit it at all,it not helpful,I’ve been doing for about 4 years now,mojo has been very helpful.yesterday,I kept a strong erection even after I cum.take out the doubt of you not getting hard and concentrate fully during the intercouse
What worked for you concentrating during intercourse? I seem to have trouble doing that eventho im trying to be in the moment, feeling the sensations and my breath.
All women think it’s them they can’t help it when it’s constantly emphasised how men “are visual beings” so of course they will automatically assume we don’t find them attractive enough, and get upset. The best solution is to first fess up that you have a problem and you’re struggling to maintain an erection because of anxiety, and you’re not present in the moment. Once you experience ED next time it’s worse because you think it’s gonna happen again and it becomes a sad fulfilling prophecy, a vicious cu me. Tell her about this app, tell her you will also get a physical check as well. And ask her to help you out by being patient and to slowly make you feel like it does not matter whether you get an erection or whether you can keep it erect. Men are not machines, we’re not walking hardons. If she makes you feel comfortable again you will get more confident and eventually will be able to get an erection, believe me. I’m the meantime blue pill can help, also use your fingers and your mouth, get creative they love it. Statistically women are able to achieve orgasm through oral sex much more frequently and for longer compared to being penetrated using your cock. All the best.
1 Like
I experienced the same, we even cried together with my fiance about it. But now, no problem with erection anymore, I agree on the reset method. When im about to penetrate and my thing wont cooperate we do a reset. I would lay on my back and my fiance would touch me lightly to relieve my tensionor lay head down. Her touch is amazing! My anxiety would go down and my penis would go up right away. Then we would resume. Thats the technique if anxiety is high do something to reset the mode
3 Likes