Hey guys. In my early 50s. I don’t have libido unless I have a string emotional connection to the partner. Recently got a new partner, met twice. Performance 50/50. Can’t stop imagining failure. I know if we meet 4 or 5 times I may not have any problems, but I’m scared the instability in performance until then will turn her off and then I’ll need to start from zero with another person. The stress is killing me.
String → strong. Sorry for typo!
Hey interesting post - I’m completely the same like needing a strong emotional connection to help libido. For me there’s nothing as good as having that love and arousal combo. But without it I struggle with anxiety during sex. Don’t really understand where it comes from! All I can say is keep using the app and stay positive- good luck!
That is not necessarily a problem, nor is it unique
I think one way of thinking about it is how would you handle it if she had a similar performance issue..? Hopefully if you’re a decent person you’d be cool and understanding, even more so if you liked them for other reasons than sex, so if she isn’t similarly patient then that’s maybe an early red flag and you’re better off finding out sooner rather than later.
So if she doesn’t get wet enough for sex, whatcha going to do? (A growing issue with menopausal women..)
Exactly!! Get some good lube and be prepared. Same goes for her. There are a lot of ways a man can be pleasured without an erection.
I also suggest you hone your oral and fingers game.
Keep with the app. Do the mental and physical exercises. It helps!!
Use the mental exercises here to bring that anxiety down and silence the inner critic. It’s mostly in your head! Enjoy your time with her and build the emotional connection. Don’t focus on the sexual issue. If anything you’ll be able to talk to her about it and that can decrease stress/pressure. I’ve had a very similar experience recently, but the girl really liked me and once I got out of my head things worked great! Keep at it bro you got this!