Inner critic was especially analytical about my penis, overanalyzing everything about it. Also, it was weirded out by the fact that I wasn’t masturbating.
Why is it taking so long to get hard? What will someone say if they see me like this. Is this the same as masturbation
Started with an erection and began to lose it because of my thoughts and recognizing them and focusing on the sensations quieted them.
There was no inner critic. At least that I was aware of. What struck me was the “contradicting” feelings/thoughts. At the start, I thought: “oh boy, now that I need you to stay soft, you’re going to get hard” because that’s usually how I get myself hard to masturbate: by playing and caressing my penis. But then, when I manage to keep doing the exercise and stay soft, I thought: “Oh wow, this may be worse than I thought”.
Said you’re not supposed to enjoy and you will have trouble getting hard this won’t work
I started feeling a little self critical, but my rational brain knows that I am perfectly healthy and enough.
Why aren’t you getting hard, did you ruin your dick through porn or something?
I place a lot of expectations: If it’s being touched, it should get hard. If it doesn’t get hard, there’s an underlying health problem causing it. If it goes soft after getting hard, my libido is dying and I need to check my testosterone levels. Then I spiral into negative thought loops about what medical problem could be causing it (are my electrolytes off, maybe I need ED medication, maybe my blood pressure is too high). I’m pathologizing something that doesn’t need to be, then that takes me out of the moment and onto WebMD and Healthline searching for answers to problems which reinforces the belief.
Small and soft and why would my partner want something so pathetic
Inner critic boiled down for the moment I was playing with soft penis.
My inner critic went gung-ho over my size. I kept focusing on how small I was. How little my size is. My heart had a slightly stronger pump indicating I struck a nerve. Obviously I would feel shame, fear, and embarrassment during sex. Then the floodgates would open and definitely be done in bed.
My inner critic said that i wont enjoy sex that much, that i dont really want to do it etc
My inner critic was quick to start identifying the things that I don’t like about my penis. It told me this exercise is not going to work. This affects performance because when I’m focused on negative thoughts and not pleasurable thoughts. As a result, my brain does not connect with the pleasure spots on my body and the sensation is gone.
It’s small, it’s wrinkly, it looks better when your foreskin is pulled back.
I think having these thoughts make me feel inadequate and that I’d do a bad job in satisfying someone.
My inner critic was saying ‘sure you can get hard now when you don’t need to, but that won’t work during sex’.
I actually thought it was kind of fun and I got a new appreciation for my member
After the first 3 minutes I completely relaxed and it got hard. Then I let it alone and tried to let it go down, but it wouldn’t get below a semi and my inner critic went nuts. It started to say how ironic it was, how deliberately trying to relax and focus on nothing so it would go down would pollute the training and I would train myself to go soft, and how it was just like the way in which I get soooooo horny all the time but as soon as someone else is in the room, it faints and there are no signs of life again until the other person gets bored and leaves. Ah, that did the trick (finally)! But I will try again, its so crazy it might just work!
It’s not going to worl
Couldn’t feel getting hard and it pointed out that my penis ended even softer than at the start.
The inner critic said “you’re going to be a disappointment again” “you won’t be able to get hard” “you lie to people about how you are in bed” “you need the lights on or it’s not gonna work” “you shouldn’t be getting hard”I noticed sensations of guilty, anxiety and pressure. These thoughts impact performance anxiety by decreasing my ability to be in the moment and transferring the moment into my own head. Causing me to ruin the moment despite my intentions are to make it amazing. I do believe I can work through this.