I’ve gotten myself messed up

34 male high stress job with a smoking hot wife. She’s sexually very interested and we have a healthy sex life. I started trt 8 months ago for multiple reasons. It’s helped in the gym and life. But, I’ve developed psychological ed because of some hurdles we’ve had in the bedroom (10yrs married). Happened once and has crept into my head bad. Happens a good bit now. Started taking a boner pill before and now that’s the only way I can have good sex. It’s great when I do that. But, without it, things have declined. I regret some of the decisions but would love advice as to what we should do to wipe the slate clean. She’s open to helping.


Remember, it’s in your head and not your body. Give yourself a break.

I’m 12 years married and feel the same about my wife. I’m working through it. The meditation is where I’m focusing; just getting back to making things fun in bed again instead of so much worry.

Don’t force anything; slow down, relax, celebrate the small wins when they happen.


Agree with above. Also we can get hung up on how we think things “should be” rather than enjoying what is and being flexible - e.g maybe on a day it’s not working for you then focus can be on her and another time focus on you and so on - many variations on the theme that are fun.


Thinking about just exploring what she likes and not really focusing on that at all. Then, if after a few sessions, I’m aroused enough to get going, we’ll give it a shot. Who knows…

What are the reasons you started TRT? Are you sure that’s really what you needed. Companies and doctors try to push that as the boner cure when it completely depends on the cause of your ED.

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Also are you watching porn? Because that will kill your erections quicker than you can imagine, and kill your marriage in turn.

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I can relate to this- I have the same problem. I have been using the meditation and exercises. Mostly the exercises I do regularly. The kegals and stretches. I actually was able to have sex last night. I have been married 25 years so it’s not the easiest. What I have found that is helping me as well is trying to be with my wife more during our downtime. I think that is a key to this as well. For me the first time that I lost an erection I felt like the end of the world. It spiraled from there. I would say just get back to the small things and then shut your brain off (easier said than done)


Congrats! Celebrate the wins.

The fact you know it’s mental is good. I’d argue that maybe taking pills is adding to it tho. You’re believing that pills are essential therefore meaning you don’t believe you can get what you want without them


Started trt because I was foggy, sluggish and tired all the time. Got tested multiple times and I was low. Im a physician too so I was hesitant because I know that can be an easy first option. I’m thin, very active and am concerned that the stresses of surgical residency may have contributed to it. Who knows.