I always lose the race

I’m not sure if this is considered premature ejaculation, but it’s earlier than I’d like. If 9 on the arousal meter is there’s no going back, then I have no trouble staying below 9 for as long as I feel I should. The issue I have it that my arousal meter seems to always be 1 or 2 numbers higher than my girlfriends. This means as she seems to be approaching climax, (which she says she’s never had, not even by herself) I will always hit 9 before her.
I have purchased ample toys, and tried using them on her for up to an hour straight, but she thrashes like crazy and says she just “over stimulated” and cannot climax.
When I use my fingers or my member, it seems to me like she can get up to a 7 or 8 maybe, but with my hands, my muscles will tire out, again seemingly in coloration with her level of arousal, or I will just bust.

Any recommendations? Is pelvic floor exercise the key? Is it a meditation angle? Is she just one of the few that can’t orgasm?

Sounds like she just needs to learn to let go and get out of her own head. You’re being very considerate and trying different things to help her so are doing everything right Take her focus off the end result and take the pressure off and just both enjoy the ride so to speak. Maybe you could use breathing techniques and slow down or stop when you get close just to prolong things to give her a chance to catch up. Just don’t put extra pressure on yourself as you have to enjoy it too.
Talk about it with your gf as this will reduce the pressure too. Encourage her to explore what she likes by her self at times so she can learn how to climax without the pressure of partnered sex. You’ll both get there together with practice and communication.