How to be chill?

Since I have started to work heavily on my ED several months ago I have made significant progress on myself. However I have also been obsessed with sex. My work and hobbies have suffered as a result. Most importantly, I have been putting a lot of pressure on my wife, scheduling sex etc. While her libido was already low, it has suffered even more because of the pressure. Whenever my wife declines scheduled sex I get super mad, and it sometimes turns into a fight. This is always a major setback for both mine and her mindset and I feel that it is destroying the progress that we have already made.

However, I strongly fear that if I am not pushing for sex we will go back to sexless marriage. On the other hand, me pushing seems to make the situation worse. I have to trust that she will eventually be ready and that I will also be ready right then and now.
This is very hard for me… Any advice is welcome.

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Even with the problems (my wife has talked me out of saying ‘my’ problems) I am probably higher sexed. She is great and tries to accommodate me, but her orgasms are quite strong and she can feel uncomfortable if she isn’t really ready for sex.

So - we tend to have sex at certain times as creatures of habit. In between sex or quickies is often one of us giving the other a hand job/fingering.

We pushed the boundaries recently and the adventure left her wiped out, but well worth it😊