What was the best thing you did to overcome going soft during sex? For my situation. Three years ago my two year relationship ended. Since that I haven’t really been having much intimate sex. I’m now seeing this sweet women, and we have tried two times to have sex, but I Got soft both times Even though I was hard while kissing and so. It’s like during the act when we take each other clothes of, that it doesn’t want to cooperate. In my past relationship everything was fine and great on the sexual part. Is it because I need to Get used to the intimacy again? And not be worried about going soft, cause it now stays in my mind, that it might go soft, and I dont wan’t to dissapoint her…
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There are a lot of reasons why you would go soft during sex. Say we exclude physical reasons (which is not necessarily the case).
Psychologically, there are two main things: Firstly, you have to be sufficiently aroused. Since this is a new partner I guess that this is not the problem for you, since excitement should be very high.
The second issue is related to performance anxiety and putting pressure on yourself and previous negative experiences, which lead to overthinking and negative thoughts.
You have to identify those negative thought patterns that make you loose your erections. Then you have to try to deal with those thoughts outside of the sexual situation, which can be used techniques that appear in CBT, see e.g. the dealing with negative thoughts exercise on the app. Meditation is also a great way to deal with unwanted thoughts.
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It is very difficult to push away insecurity and negative thoughts. Good luck with Mojo and other mechanisms.
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This is what happens to me… half way through it gradually flops. I just hit out with excuse that I need a drink or I’m too warm
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For me, it feels like my body loses interest even though my brain is like “Breed!”. Super frustrating, at times…
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