Have you tried sex therapy before for ED? Has it been helpful? I’m considering trying it but not sure. If you haven’t tried it, why not?
My wife and I just started last week. She finally agreed to go. This was only after me working with another therapist for over a year and my ED not getting better. I’m hopeful it’ll work. One issue was my wife never internalized the issue. I think hearing things I’ve said from someone else (another woman) will help. The therapist has us doing sensate therapy alternating weeks. It’s a good reset button that takes the focus off sex and back to pleasure / mindfulness.
That’s awesome man. Glad you’re getting started. Why didn’t the other therapy help?
It helped in certain ways and I’d recommend it. But there came a point where she needed to be involved. I couldn’t just “fix myself” . What I need is support, understanding, and her help. It’s just the beginning so we’ll see, but I’m going into this optimistic. What’s your story?
I’m in it now, for the second time. It’s not a miracle, but it certainly can’t hurt. The first time I did it, it was just me. This time my wife is involved and it’s much better. Since much of this issue seems to be related to anxiety, talking it over with a counselor and your partner seems like something that would lessen the anxiety.
What things in couples therapy did you find worked well or not so well? I’m willing to try anything. I worry my wife will not be as involved or enthusiastic even though shes such a big part of it. Yes it’s my problem but I feel more alone when she doesnt seem as willing to get into the breach with me so to speak.
For my wife, going to therapy finally made it click how much I struggled with this, how much time I spent worrying about it outside the bedroom, and that it was affecting me in other areas. I don’t think women really grasp what an affront this is to our masculinity. The therapist is mainly a facilitator of productive conversations and supporter. It’s also helpful to have a neutral outsider give a perspective on things.
Re: affront to masculinity 100%. My wife doesn’t have the highest libido, which is s double edge sword. But it’s still humiliating even if she says she can live without sex. It still feels like I’m broken. This community has really given me hope that I can finally turn the corner.