I’ve been married for 9 years and suffered from ED which has had a big impact on our sexual relationship (or lack of). My wife tries to initiate sex with me sometimes but as soon as I lose my erection she rolls over, ends any interaction and tells me that ‘she’s not sexy’, and ‘she can’t do this anymore.’ I offer to pleasure her but she doesn’t let me. Does anyone else have this problem?
Hi, yes I’m in the same situation. 12 years married with ED issues on and off. Last few years have been the worst. My wife and I still love each other very much, but she says she can’t imagine being intimate with me ever again and wants to separate. I wish I had tried to deal with the issue earlier.
Was in my first relationship for 7 months, first month she was very supportive, and I wasn’t getting myself out of my head and eventually I realized she’s not as enthusiastic in bed and to a lot of extent felt like has given up on me. With time I was improving, but I still had my bad runs here and there and the frequency of leading to sex severely diminished and throughout the relationship, she might have initiated probably 3 times. For 5 of those months I was unemployed and had a lot of stress on getting a new job, else I could have tried to take my time to go to sex therapy or couples therapy to figure out my problem. I found new job, felt very secure, had one moment where I lost erection mid sex and she made sure to know that she was disappointed. Next day she was snappy with me and few days later broke up with me citing sex as one of the reason.
There were other minor reasons, but none that couldn’t have been worked out if we ever really cared to sit, talk, and see what we can do. But well, she jumped as breakup as the only way. Sooo yeah.
Sorry to hear that mate. It’s so frustrating as she shakes me in every argument. I feel like even though I do so much for the family, my ED, in her mind, is the only cause of our issues.
I’m in the same boat. I’m trying super hard to remedy things, I ordered pills from HIMS, have been working out daily, taking a bunch of supplements I found on the web and here in mojo.
She’s still just not interested and it kills my confidence. Sometimes I feel like the effort I’m doing will work but I haven’t been able to test any of it out.
Im hoping to see a sex therapist to talk through what is going on and hopefully get another chance.
To anyone reading this, keep working forward and be ready and calm for when it happens. Best of luck to all.
I know how you feel, worrying about getting hard is difficult enough to deal with without your partner making it their problem, and making you feel worse when it happens. I’ve been married for 5 years and struggled since day 2. I can’t say there’s been a point where I’ve felt understood or supported with this struggle. It happened again last night, and as soon as she realized she wasn’t getting penetrative sex she turned over and started putting her clothes on without a word. We were laying in bed after and I said I was sorry, to which she responded “you should be saying sorry to the children we’re never going to have.” I didn’t want to fight again so I kept quiet, and I’m actually grateful that’s all she said because usually it’s worse. In Mojo terms, my inner critic usually sounds like and quotes her. We successfully had sex twice before, within this week, and she started talking about how proud she was of me afterwards, but it doesn’t feel sincere now that I’ve ‘failed’ again and this is the reaction.
I understand how hard it is to feel alone in this, without support from the only other person who knows it’s something you struggle with. You start to get jealous of the stories you see on here where others have partners that try different things and actively want to help.