I’m 30 years old and have had around ~60 sexual partners. The significant majority were drunken one night stands, and I had ED (delayed ejaculation) for the plurality of those.
I’ve been with the love of my life the last 4 years (my first ‘actual’ girlfriend) but am unable to orgasm without thinking of porn or past sexual partners. It’s always the rougher memories/images that get me to orgasm and I feel like this is blocking me from connecting with my girlfriend and being turned on solely by her / our shared experience.
This feels like emotional cheating, and the longer our sex life struggles the more I’m dreaming/fantasising about past partners and even actually cheating - something that I would never want to do.
Would be grateful if others in my situation could share their experiences!