Going soft after my Ex cheated on me

I was dating a guy for about a year. It was my first relationship with a guy. He was also the first one I really slept with. Then I found out he cheated on me and a bunch of other stuff too. So we broke up.

I never had a hard time getting hard before but now it feels almost impossible. I want to explore my sexuality more but I seem to be in my head a ton now. I think part of it is now I don’t feel safe with my sexual partners like I did before. Has anyone else ever experienced this?

I think part of it could be that I grew up in a pretty conservative religion too. Anyways, I’m hoping between talking to my therapist and using Mojo that I can take some stress out of sex and have fun again. :grinning:

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Definitely makes sense. Sounds like you need to work on building trust again with others. The penis is protective and may not want to be hurt again (you not your penis). Sounds like you are taking good first steps. Would love to connect for support.

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I actually went through the exact same thing wow. I’ve been struggling with it for a year and a half now. I don’t really like to bottom and I’ve always liked topping but now I’ve been disappointed with every interaction I’ve had with a guy. At this point, I have given up and have lost my desire to even talk to any guys because I don’t want to disappoint. I hope Mojo helps

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This feels so relevant to me. My issue has been a mix of erection issues and performance anxiety. Specifically not being able to climax. I’ve mainly been with women, and recently (after divorce) tried exploring sex with men.

I thought maybe the issue would go away if I was was with a man, since that felt new and exciting, but I realized I still was confronted with the same issues, no matter how erotic or exciting the situation.

What I started to realize is that my body was, in a sense, protecting itself because I felt vulnerable. Recently, I’ve met a wonderful woman who’s open and secure about her sexuality, and more importantly, made me feel comfortable, which then allowed me to be vulnerable, and open up about my bisexuality. I think the key here is feeling safe with your partner, no matter what sex, what they look like, etc - figuring out how to be vulnerable again, and with someone who reminds you to focus on your pleasure, instead of demanding perfection for their benefit. Things aren’t perfect, I still get stuck in my head, but I can, at least see the light.

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