It’s funny, I can basically and reliably get my erection back. It’s certainly a “safe” environment, free of judgement and expectations. With a woman, there’s added stress, I guess, both self imposed but also some actual expectations from the partner. My partner and I are trying to work on better communication conducive to sexy time so as to not trigger me. But I guess this waxing and waning exercise done in a safe space alone should develop in oneself the comfort level and discipline to be able to then allow the erection to go and come back over the course of an intimate encounter with a partner. It’s amazing how in your head we can get when we notice ourselves even a little bit soft, a concern or preoccupation more likely to come up when you’re with someone else, that if we can rather not focus on that and accept this as a normal occurrence (which from what I gather it IS) throughout an intimate encounter and take confidence that with the right kind of non judgemental attention and stimulation (and activities like kissing) our erections more than likely come back as we are biologically able to do under the right conditions. It’s also funny, because when I talk to a friend who possesses a sexual confidence I envy, he says “oh yeah, it’s normal if you go a little soft when not stimulating yourself when, say, you’re taking some time to give her oral or something, but just switch it up and kiss and/or change position, etc, and you get it back,” but for me I’m so prone to self esteem issues that my sexual confidence is nowhere near where he’s at, though I’m getting better with all these exercises with Mojo plus been talking to a sex therapist.
That’s awesome that you have a friend that you’re comfortable enough talking to about this. I, like so many other men, never really said anything to anyone about my issue and it wasn’t until I found this app that I really started talking to other men that could relate. I’m sure my friends would be cool with it if I tried bringing it up, but I wasn’t able to convince myself to do it. Good for you man!
Waxing and Waning has probably been my favorite exercise to do here. It’s probably the one that’s given me the most confidence back in terms of my confidence in myself. Keep it up dude! Sounds like you’re on the right track for sure.
Thanos so much for the comment. Yeah, talking about men’s issues is not so common. But I think it’s important we have conversations with people we trust, and make such things less taboo. I hope you find your support circle around such issues.
We are not a failure for having struggles. Don’t let anyone make you believe that. Take pride in how you can satisfy your partner in other ways than penetration, really enjoy in the act of satisfying them. Invest in being a present and attentive lover, a tender and caring lover. At that point, so what if your erection comes and goes. What’s helping me is sex is less so a destination and more a journey of sensual play, more so to do with connection and play than necessarily performing and having endless erections, accepting that erections going to and down in the course of an intimate encounter with a partner is actually a normal occurrence, just that we focus too much on going soft when we notice it happening that we lose the ability to get hard again by getting too much in our head instead of brushing it off.
Anyway, I’m glad we can support each other on here. Thanks again for commenting, brother!