My current gf and I have been dating for 4 months , in these 4 months I have learned a lot about her past some I did not want to hear . She has had 9 sexual partners before me not all being sex but some sort of sexual activity. For reference I have 3 . I feel almost inadequate and not special due to this no matter how much she tries to. Recently I’m having the thought that I could not even see her as my future wife because of it . Not that anything is wrong with her or the relationship it’s actually a very healthy and balanced relationship . I just can’t see me marrying someone with a past like that . Am I being irrational. Is there anyway to get over it ? I just need some help with it all. Thanks
I honestly don’t think it matters. More importantly, she is with you, now. Either it took nine guys before she found you, or if she had found you earlier, she may not have been ready to go steady. But the timing is right for you.
My wife discloses her past freely and I am pleased and proud she settled with me. She keeps in touch with her exes - which I am
Cool with
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From someone who has let too much good life pass me by while I overthought and worried. Recently I’ve really tried to live in the now, I’m with a beautiful woman who’s into me right now, enjoy it. Yeah things might last forever, but that’s NOT a worry for now. This way of thinking might help you now. She’s with you, enjoy it. Don’t put pressure on yourself thinking about marriage, if it happens, it happens.
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I’ve been in the same boat as you mate, she brought up the body count subject and when I told her I was on nine she said she was on eight. Later it came out she had lied and she was on 14. Really really affected me probably the same way it has you but I’ve just learnt after a while that it doesn’t actually matter, we all have pasts and you can’t let it eat you up, be confident in that fact that she’s with you now and wants to be with you and focus on the present and future with her and those feelings will soon fade, don’t get me wrong I think about it from time to time and it give me that pit in the stomach feeling but I can overcome it pretty quickly, hope this helps mate
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If it helps from a gay prospective she is a saint. I had lots more partners then her, in the hundreds and so it’s the experience of my gay friends and partners. If anything it made us more connected to our pleasure and we learned more about ourselves. I know it’s not as usual for straight people to have as many sexual partners but sex is so much less important than we think. She is choosing you, she wants to be with you, she is making you her priority. This is literally being special to someone. The more sex you guys have together the more you are going to get into it and discover things. Every partner is different and comparisons are literally pointless because the best sex you have with a knobhead just finish at the moment you get post nut clarity. Give your girl a big hug and appreciate the fact that a woman that can have as many guys as she want is choosing you x