For me, ED and anxiety around sex was the tip of the iceberg

💭 Mental health
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I started using mojo a year ago as i was starting to see someone. Long story short, we are still together. At that time i was convinced i would never be able to get and stay hard. I was hopeless at times. While i was initially blaming a lot of my anxiety on ED, that was just the tip of the iceberg. We now have a great sex life, i have no trouble staying hard and having intercourse, even multiple times a night. The point i want to make in this post is that ED was a scape goat, what was really under the surface was a mosaic of other issues relating to my attatchment type, a deep fear of commitment, past relationships trauma, CPTSD, Shame from childhood experiences, guilt, maladaptive coping mechanisms. There is so much work to be done. So I guess just take a look at whats really causing your ED.

If ED and trouble connecting with romantic partners is causing you immense, identity shattering anxiety, i would say check out TIm Fletchers content on CPTSD. It has opened up my eyes so much to the real problems i have to address in my life, ED was just a symptom of something much bigger and deeper. I have just started my first week of in person therapy, it was a long road to get here, but im so happy I’m committing to recovery.

Be open and honest with yourself and those you trust. And trust that you are loveable.

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Thank you for sharing!

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This is brilliant I will try this as I have had ED for years yet have no problems with erections in morning or when on my own

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What did you search for in a therapist??

Nice work, by the way!!!

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I definitely relate to this. I realise these days my masturbation /porn use has always been an ongoing sedative for fear and anxiety, and as soon as I stop using it I got l get hit by a wave of anxiety. Hence now extended mojo use to counselling too. I’m at that point where I can’t imagine ever being able to have sustained successful penetrative sex with a woman. I’m encouraged hearing success here. But as this post says; ED the tip of the iceberg for me to.

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Same for me. I think that is how I know it’s psychological and not physical. I’ve learned that trying too hard consciously actually blocks the process - when we are not stressed, we are not blocking it from naturally occurring.