Feeling hopeless

I’m 37 and didn’t suffer from ED until my early 30’s had my first ED issue a few years ago and after that my sexual anxiety started building up. Since then I’ve been having trouble in almost all my sexual experiences and sort of unconsciously started avoiding dating. Last night I went out with an amazing girl who I have a crush on for a while and couldn’t get it up I was very nervous even before getting to bed with her. She told me to relax that it was alright but i could see the disappointment in her eyes when I dropped her over. I’m afraid she will never go out with me again and I really wanted to. Feeling hopeless it’s so frustrating wasting opportunities of relationships like that.

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In In my experience women can take it personally and think that it’s something about your attraction to them or their desirability. So it’s important to be totally honest and vulnerable about what you’ve been going through and how you want work through it with them. They have their own insecurities and need some reassurance that you find them desirable but are just having anxiety


Hey man,

Plus 1 on the above comment.

I was in the exact same boat as you. Didn’t have any ED issues till I was in my 30s. I just had a breakthrough this week where I thought so what if I don’t get it up, nothing bad will happen apart from a little embarrassment. Staying in the moment with box breathing/meditation helped me.

One other thing, is that if the girl I’m with can’t understand that this can happen to men and holds it against me, do I want to be with that person?

The girl in your date seems understanding so yeah being open might be the way forward.

You’ve got this man :muscle:

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Yeah man I agree. I was very open and honest with her about it before we went to bed, she was very understanding and said it’d be ok if nothing happened. But still do i think she might have lost her interest. Could be that i’m still anxious with the situation let’s see what the future holds.

Appreciate that man that thought is very helpful, if the girl doesn’t understabd that can happen do i want to be with her