Fear of initiating sex with my wife

I have been having a lot of problems with erections. Almost every time I try to have sex with my wife I can’t get an erection. This causes a very awkward situation and
because of this I almost never initiate sex. This has been going on for five years now. My wife has understandably become frustrated and has been talking about splitting up. My fears are now through the roof and I downloaded this app in hopes to become more sexually active with my wife.
I am 36 years old.

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I’m sorry to hear that, I assume there are also other factors in her wanting to split up. Similar situation for me but we aren’t at that point, I’ve been having PE and some ED this year, to the point where fight or flight kicks in and I cum immediately upon entry. She gets frustrated and walks away immediately which puts so much stress on me.

Stress will only make it worse, so try some breathing or meditation beforehand. There are other ways you can make things good for her if she’s interested (my wife is not). Good luck and don’t stress!

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Hi I’ve had a similar problem for some years. We have got to the point where we have re-engaged having non penetrative sex - to take the pressure off me. We pleasure each other in different ways and this has been really nice. Some women equate that unless you penetrate them you do not fancy them … we know that’s not true. My advice is to sit down and talk it through or with a couples counsellor who is experienced in these things.

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Create intimacy without penetration. Massages and the early sensate exercises help create intimate moments to enjoy without pressure.

Sex is not penetration, it’s everything around it. From gentle touch then escalate to sex in other ways.

Also, try initiating passionate kissing and simple comforting touch as a way to build up your own confidence.

A loving partner will also support you if you communicate.

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Tha k you so much for the support
It’s the first time I have opened up about this and feel much support.

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Welcome man we are here to support you ! Honestly

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Been doing some ED pills and the V seems to work best. However it’s been hit or miss with me. 48 and never had issues until a year ago. I’m very much in my head. I can get erections on my own but when I’m with my wife I lose it. She’s very much a believer in medicine and not psych. So I am traveling this road alone hoping to mend myself without the help of my partner of 21 years

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You are not alone man.
We are all in this together. Try to shut your inner critic up. From your comment it seems like it is psych and you can get trough it. Best of luck to us all.

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I would say try being playful with your wife, come up with a game where you say each of you will make the other as horny as possible, but promise each other you won’t have sex that day. You will see, just the relief of not having to think about sex will keep you rock hard for the whole duration.