ED when my wife is super in the mood

New to Mojo but excited to see how it can help.

When my wife and I have a quicky ED isn’t a big issue (I.e. she is having sex mostly because I want it). But if she is super horny and wants to get off with me inside her, that’s when I go soft worrying I won’t be able to last long enough for her to get there.

This wasn’t an issue when I was in my 20s and early 30s but it’s a lot more common the last few years. I find that I am the one trying to initiate sex 95% of the time, and often get turned down, so when suddenly I find her super ready to get down, I get intimidated, thinking ‘oh shit, this is the moment, don’t fuck it up’. I’d rather my mind set be excited she’s excited and find it hot, and get even more into the moment, but the opposite seems to happen.

Any advice?

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Get her off before you have sex. Then if she orgasms from sex it’s a bonus orgasm. And if she doesn’t get it from sex she’s already had it

Good advice!! No one is putting any pressure on us, it’s us putting all the pressure on ourselves. It’s actually insane what us as men do to ourselves. All the work I’ve done on this app has definitely helped, especially through this community portion. I literally thought I was a broken man…alone, odd, weird and 1/2 a man. I actually created this scenario in my head where I had come to terms that it was a punishment from God for all my promiscuous behavior in my earlier years….Crazy right ? I put all the
Pressure on me because I have had so many partners, could have sex multiple times a day and could get hard by simply thinking of a woman. Well….life changes, your body changes. I’m 52 y/o now on my second marriage of 12 years with an insanely hot and younger wife. When I had a few failed attempts, where I
Lost my erection ….i went into
Complete panic mode. Beat myself up, over thought everything and made it so much worst than it really was. We are human beings and we’re not perfect. I’ve learned to simply relax, give myself grace and truly
make love to my wife now. Before all this, I honestly thought of her not only as my wife, but kind of like my own personal sex toy! This experience has been mentally and emotionally difficult, but also a blessing in disguise. I’ve slowed down with her, more foreplay, more of an emotional deep connection, rather than bending her over and going to pound town. Deep breaths, relax and enjoy your partner in the moment

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I try to get her off first orally to take the pressure off me. That works sometimes, but if she is looking to orgasm with me inside of her, that’s when I get into my head.

Part of what throws things off is that we fool around to start bare, but then need to put a condom on part way through since she isn’t on the pill (health reasons) and I haven’t had a vasectomy (haven’t been able to pull the trigger just yet). We’re past the point of wanting more kids though. This interruption becomes a great spot for me to get out of the present and into my head. I also can hear my mother’s voice all through my teenage years to not have sex so I wouldn’t get a girl pregnant (lots of teenage pregnancy on her side of the family). My wife is about to start an IUD and I’m optimistic that will help us be more spontaneous and I can stop worrying about cumming early (both ruining the moment and creating a pregnancy scare - my wife is 44 and has some health complications that would make that extra stressful).