I haven’t had sex in 2 years. I rely on watching porn and wanking to relive myself. This has impacted dating and my libido. I’ve struggled to get hard with guys when we’re in bed and I end up saying I’m tired and then ghost them. I don’t know if it’s intimacy issues, fear of messy sex which happens to me once and I was mortified or something else. Help 
Start by avoiding porn.
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I find avoiding porn by brute force of will wasn’t really happening. I worked in awakening my body/mind connection via solo sensate work here in mojo and slow mindful masturbation ( when I do that). I realized that I wasn’t actually paying attention to my body when watching porn. Yes I got hard and got off - but boy it was quite shallow to what I get now from masturbation and using my mind and focus on my body. I have found I don’t really want to watch porn now without needing to “discipline” myself not to watch - just have a decent properly satisfying wank instead.
Sharing an option that may help.
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Talk to a partner about it. Maybe they are in the same boat. I don’t think anal is for everyone and it’s literally a pain in the arse if it goes as you mentioned. All I wanted to say is that it’s not inevitable and other stuff can be just as fun or even more. Hopefully that will get the confidence up. I do genuinely agree though that porn is killing people’s brains and ruining a solid bond between people.
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