Anxiety about sex vs. asexuality vs. fear of intimacy?

I’ve been trying to figure out more about myself and my sexual issues. One major theme that was pointed out to me recently by my girlfriend, is that I don’t really seem curious about sex or about trying anything new in the bedroom, and don’t ever seem to want to initiate. I have been wrestling with whether my experience is a sign of asexuality, sexual performance anxiety, or something else, and how to go about determining that.

I’ve always been able to masturbate and get hard when I’m by myself, but I do often use masturbation as a stress reliever. It’s difficult for me to get hard in front of my girlfriend or to get hard by her touch. I just joined Mojo in the last week and I’m hoping the course will help provide some insights.

Has anyone else wrestled with a similar question on whether you were dealing with anxiety about sex, asexuality, or fear of intimacy?

I feel like I am dealing with something very similar. I feel for me it’s stemmed from always watching porn for years and just feeling comfortable by myself jerking off.

I finally opened up to my partner about what was going on and just being open and she is more than open and willing to try things to get that anxiety down so we can have sex. I stopped watching porn and jerking off on a daily basis to break that habit and start new ones. I would say the anxiety has still been there but we have been able to have sex a couple times. I’ve also been able to get blow Jobs from her and hand jobs which are are all steps in the right direction.

Glad you were able to make some positive steps and that you have a supportive partner! Anything positive is always a great place to build from.

I’m still working through a lot, and I actually started an anxiety medication (Buspirone) in the past couple of months. I think my anxiety has been more manageable but I still have quite a ways to go on sexual curiosity.