Scared, do I even bother?

🌋 Early climax
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I’ve been able to improve my confidence but I’m at the crossroads. I know I could sleep with someone, but I just won’t bother pursuing that person because i know/feel it just won’t end well. I was bullied a lot and now I just feel like I will only disappoint a partner.

In public I’m a confident speaker and leader but in private (more so around sex) I’m pathetic. I just wanna be good so I don’t have to worry about it any more…

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I feel you man. I know that feeling of anxiety and dread around looking for a new relationship or even sexual encounter, for fear of future unhappiness. But ultimately the only way out is through. You can’t hide yourself away and deny your desire. Or you could, but that would only lead to deeper unhappiness. My two cents anyway.

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I’ve felt the same as you. That’s your inner critic talking. Use the mental exercises on here to silence the inner critic and get past the anxiety.

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I struggle with this also. That overall fear of the moment or the fear of the failure.

Maybe focus on what you can control, speak to your partner / partners more before starting a physical relationship?

What I mean is like, maybe dictating the pace of things (how quick the relationship advances) and the expectations of the physical aspect can help you feel less like your heading towards an inevitable conclusion and more towards a destination of your choosing. :man_shrugging::smiley::+1:

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Fair point, I guess like anything it’s about facing it head on

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I’ll do more of these sessions and that should help offer the tools I need to tackle this

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Defo, but it can be tough, for sure. Also important to remember this issue doesn’t make you a bad person or some kind of failure, don’t beat yourself up.

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You must bother. I have had the same experience. Fear of sexual intimacy has sabotaged me before. The key is to understand what sex is and be fully open with your partner from the jump. Girls mostly just want intimacy anyways and the honesty is attractive to them. You don’t have to be fearless, Just don’t let fear stop you. Just stay with physical intimacy without sex on the table. In my experience this does not always immediately lead to erections and great sex. But it gets you back in the game.