Exploring non-monogamy kills my confidence

My wife and I have been together for 17 years, and had a mostly great sex life. Just over a year ago we had drifted apart a bit and fallen into a rut. She said she was bored and felt unloved and wanted to try non-monogamy (we just called it swinging at the time). With hindsight I should have suggested we resolve our underlying relationship issues before bringing other people into our sex life, but sometimes you have to learn things the hard way.

I rarely if ever struggle to get an erection with my wife, but with other partners in the room it’s about a 50/50 chance I’ll struggle a little or a lot to get and keep an erection. I just started with Mojo because I’ve discovered even viagra doesn’t always help, so I want to try and resolve whatever psychological issues are behind it.

Anyone else have experience with a similar story, and if so how long did it take to overcome it?



My wife and I have also had some struggles recently and ethical non monogamy came up as an option. Before doing that we decided to address what we felt was lacking on our relationship first. Introduced a lot more fun both together and individually and also a lot more honesty. It’s early days but we’re finding ourselves drawn more to each other again and having more sex than ever. I still struggle with anxiety at times with sex hence here but I would say we’re in a better place in our relationship. But I think addressing underlying issues is helping so I’d say say explore it. Big learning for me is time apart (I.e. doing your own thing/exploring interesting) does really help. So more focus on you