Hey all! I’ve struggled my entire life with getting and keeping erections. It has inhibited my love life, connections, but more than anything, my mental health and how I view myself. I see myself as less than other gay men and feel as though I’ll never truly be a man or be loved/accepted for who I am with this condition.
I’ve tried everything. Pills, not drinking, not smoking, I workout 5xs a week, I eat healthy. I know it’s a mental issue. I get in my own way. What are some tips to avoid self sabotage and enjoy a healthy sex life with my partner?
Hey man, thanks for being open and sharing your story. Being gay adds another level of complexity the straights can’t understand. Are you out? Like with friends and family. (Don’t have to be out and proud). And do you struggle getting hard alone? With porn? Try just being with a guy and having physical contact, don’t put sex on the table because that will stress your head out. Enjoy being with him, strip down, get naked and play with each other, having fun. No pressure. I go there now and then where you either can’t get hard or lose it before anything has really happened. It’s tricky as this creates a vicious circle fuelling the anxiety for next time… some understand some don’t … f them. If you’re not out then maybe that is playing with you psychologically because you think it’s wrong or frowned upon? It’s a secret and you have to keep it hidden.
Thanks for this. I’m out and proud. I have a partner of over 7 years and we have a very loving and supportive relationship. I just feel pressure to satisfy him. I get in my head and think he’s going to find what he wants elsewhere. I know it’s a me problem. I just wish my penis wasn’t so unpredictable.
I’m in a similar boat. My husband and I are on two different planes when it comes to sex. Do you get hard when you are alone? In other situations? Have you ever dipped your toe outside of the relationship, and was it hard then? As in, erect?