Hey everyone, first time poster and relatively new member (4 weeks) and have been doing regular meditation, breathing techniques and listened to the therapy sessions. Iv had problems getting it up with partners for years, which is what has led me here, but never had any problems whatsoever with masturbation, until now.
Ever since doing these exercises and trying to control my inner critic it feels like Iv now awoken an inner critic with masturbation and I can now think myself out of an erection while masturbating - proving itās completely in my head, as probably with most people here. Iv always masturbated to porn which i have now stopped watching and thinking maybe that is why, potentially.
Has anyone else encountered a similar issue? If so Iām hoping there might be some success stories to get out of your head during both sex and masturbation? Iām trying to stick with the breathing techniques etc and will continue to do so, but a little frustrated and anxious - any tips??
Hi there,
Your situation sounds almost exactly the same as me and I also joined Mojo around 4 weeks ago. Iāve been dealing with ED coming and going for years, and now almost a year into a relationship with a woman I love and that I am incredibly attracted to, my ED keeps returning and I keep getting in my head.
As late as today, I was doing directed masturbation and I got turned on and aroused from my own touch, although I couldnāt get an erection. Then I turned on a little visual stimulation and next thing I know my erection came and I was able to masturbate.
This confirms for me, that it is indeed psychological and something that can be fixed.
I will keep working on myself through Mojo and will also in 2 days start therapy for the first time, to deal with what might be inside me that Iāve never spoken with anyone about.,
Keep with it and I am sure that we will both overcome this! Letās share our experience and journey to help each other!
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Hi there,
I can relate to what you both are saying and have been experiencing my self. But I am new to all this and can you please help me with below questions that I have?
- I can get it hard while masturbating and particularly while watching porn on the screen. I tried masturbating without a visual medium, and it takes time as I need to visualise things. And when I am with my partner, it doesnāt get hard so easily. After a while if it gets hard, it almost doesnāt stay hard enough to penetrate. Is this a clear sign of psychological ED? I am concerned because, I have some underlying health conditions but Doctors ruled it out saying they are not strong enough to trigger ED. Please share your thoughts.
- Also, I would like to know if meditation and breathing techniques are helping and how can I start/learn them?
Thanks a lot for sharing your stories.
Same situation, the porn/visual stimulation and now lack thereof is probably the culprit. You have to fully abstain from watching porn and slowly let your brain reconnect to what real sex is. After quitting porn, youāll experience some degree of withdrawals, like any other addiction. The lows will seem even lower. Stick to it and your brain will rewire itself over time ā everyone is different, so thereās no set time to complete the process. If you relapse, forgive yourself and start the streak again. Best of luck!
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Hi again,
To your questions, expected-blush-alpaca, while I in no way am a doctor or anything similar, from what Iāve learnt it sounds a lot like itās purely psychological. Especially if you can do it yourself, even if it takes a while without visual stimulation and also if e.g. you get random erections or morning erections. Typically then, thereās nothing wrong physically.
Meditation especially, are helping for me. Stick with the programme and youāll have a lot of tools - pick the ones that work for you.
I can relate to the porn thing - I need to rebalance that completely and get it out of my head and tune in with my body and mind instead. Solid approach and makes so much sense when you put it like that!
Meditation also helping me a little bit in terms of silencing the inner critic but I seem to still be struggling at the point of penetration.
I too will be starting therapy separately armed with what Mojo have equipped me with - how did you find your first session?
It was really good actually and she gave me some pointers and believes that some of the issues I am facing comes from my childhood of neglect. For example, low self-esteem, not worthy of love, etc.
I can hight recommend it and hope you drop a note once done. Good on you to do it. We can share our further experiences here.
Meditation is also helping me - a lot actually.
Have you gone through this yourself? I appreciate this comment and the encouragement. I am working on quitting regular porn use and it has been rough on my masturbation, lol.
The last few times Iāve tried to masturbate or taken part in the āSensateā and āWax and Waneā tasks I havenāt really been able to get hard at all! Iām worried that since starting Mojo Iām getting worseā¦ Sick of this bullshit