Hi All,
I’m looking for advice and whether anyone can relate to similar experiences. My ED issue I think is physical and I’m very confident It’s from an old masturbation technique I had. This story is likely to come across a little strange but it is all true.
Basically from a early teenage age up until my early 20’s I never really conventionally masturbated with my hand. What I would do is rub my penis against the bed and cum as fast as I could, in most cases my penis wouldn’t have to be erect to do so. It’s only say from the age of 23 that I stopped this and masturbated ‘normally’.
Sex with no pills is difficult, it’s very hard to keep a good erection and also pre-mature ejaculation is a big issue for me. Also I can’t seem to get a proper erection when lying flat and sometimes my penis will wilt as i’m humping. Personal masturbation can be difficult also with what I believe to be physical and mental issues.
It’s not all bad, i’ve been on pills since the age of 19 and can have ok sex in terms of duration and hardness, but I really feel i’m missing out as I could be lasting longer and with harder erections still, even on the pill.
I understand this may be a strange story / topic, but if there’s anyone who has had a similar experience or anyone with success stories or tips it would be genuinely amazing to hear. I’m physically in decent shape, hit the gym few times a week but sometimes drink and smoke 5 a day. This issue has took its toll on me mentally over the years and just would really like any advice / help that anyone has to offer.
Thanks, any questions please feel free to ask.
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@imaginative-tan-gayal I can’t say I have had the exact same experience but I can share something that is similar and what helped me.
I have a hard time masturbating without porn and can cum without being fully erect (which bothers me because it didn’t used to be this way).
I haven’t used any pills and I had a little bout of ED initially when having sex with new people after my divorce but Mojo really helped me with that and has helped with the above as well.
So what helped me was the work around the inner critic and the stories I tell myself. The modules on those topics were very helpful because as soon as I feel anxious it limits my chance for an erection.
The other surprising thing that I think helped was the pelvic floor stretching and strengthening. I noticed immediate improvements in my erection and even lasted longer in the bedroom. I mainly focused on strengthening but I did stretch some too, so it is hard to say exactly what helped.
Good luck my friend! I found my struggles with ED allowed me to refocus on how I approach sex and intimacy which has made my experience better. I am hopeful it opens up me up more and more to pleasure without all the shame, anxiety, and stress.
Now if I can find some partners to consistently practice with, lol!
@thick-silver-swallow
Firstly thank you so much for replying, it’s honestly great of you to do so.
I don’t think i’m too anxious about it, I was in a 3.5 Year relationship with my ex and we both go through the sex part, even if some of the time it was pritty bad. I think with new girls i’ll take a pill and be ok or just think f*** it and try without and be honest about it, but don’t think i’m 100% mentally right so will definitely take a look at the inner critic stuff.
The Pelvic floor strengthening is interesting though, what specific exercises did you do to improve your erection? Was it Kegels? Yoga? Other techniques? I’m a bit paranoid about kegels specifically as there’s a guy who literally titles a video on YouTube ‘NEVER KEGEL’ and he makes some very good points but unsure if you should actually never kegel, and maybe limit it.
Was there any masturbation techniques you did to last longer or have better erections?
Thanks again pal, hope to hear from you soon, I also need partners too practice with!
2 Likes
I have totally had a similar experience. Pre-puberty I found that if I pushed my pelvis hard into the floor while lying face down, I’d get a funny feeling after a little. Then precum started to happen (thankfully we had encyclopedias in the house to help me understand what was going on) and finally cum. I remember having to “learn” the normal way to masturbate by stroking my cock.
I then focused on sex with more mutual masturbation and oral than penetration sex. Im gay and it’s easier to hookup with people without getting anal involved (at least that was my excuse/thinking). Fast forward to now where I’m 40 and in a 6+ year relationship that’s been sexually open relationship for about a year. Mix with late ADHD diagnosis and stimulants killing me from staying hard and I ended up at mojo. I have cialis and have dabbled with it, but I wanted to explore the mental side of things. I’m not fully through the mindfulness exercises, but they have opened me up to really paying attention to myself. I’ve noticed now that when I try to force myself to cum masturbating (over tightening muscles and such) that I lose my erection.
However, I’m now exploring the feeling and sensations and it’s changed things a bit. I’ve cum steadily inside my partner the last month. That’s a big deal for me as it used to take me forever to cum (unless I started to force my body to by tightening legs and such).
Mojo has given me some hope and unlocked mindfulness for me (which is huge) because mindfulness also helps with my ADHD, general anxiety disorder, and major depression (and the meds help too!).
I hope you get some comfort from my post. Because reading about your alt way to masticate has made me feel less alone from what I used to do.
So now I try to enjoy the stroking and motion and build instead of the pressure.
Your post resonates with me in many areas. I was actually getting kind of bummed that mojo seem to actually be making me go the wrong direction. It has made me fully aware of many things but I need to keep working on. I am pretty confident that I have ADHD as well but it has never been diagnosed. I find my mind wandering all the time especially when I’m trying to be intimate and of course that is definitely not good for my erections. Thanks for sharing.