Somehow I get both ED and PE (21yr old) - Request for advice

Hi Everyone,

I’m new to this community and Mojo and wanted to talk about my issues and what I’m struggling with, I would appreciate any guidance or advice from personal experience please.

For context:

I am 21 yrs old and exercise quite regularly so I would believe my problems are psychological. I do work quite a bit and think that my life and work problems might contribute to my issues as well.

Most mornings I’ll wake up with morning wood, it’s not always a rock hard boner but I would still count it as an erection.

I thought my problem came from too much masturbating (5-7 times a week) so I heavily reduced masturbation and porn usage (we all slip up from time to time).

I am fairly inexperienced and have only had sex once before during which I couldn’t get a proper erection and went soft after a few minutes.

My problem:

I have recently started dating someone and it’s going great. We have tons of sex however while we are about to do peneteration in perticular, I lose my erection by the time I have to go. It’s very embarassing eventhough my partner is super comforting and tells me it’s not a problem because she loves every other part of sex as well.

Sometimes I’m able to get it up and thrust a few times however when I’m able to do that I usually climax in one minute (this usually happens when I haven’t wanked in a few days).

If I end up masturbating the day before I can’t get proper erections unless my girlfriend gives me a hand/blow job. Even if I do get one after that it’ll be semi hard and keep slipping out.

I have tried thinner condoms and also have Viagra that I only tried once but I feel like it didn’t work properly.

If anyone has any advice from personal experience or otherwise please help me.


You are in the right place. This program is meant to address everything you’re dealing with. The ED and the PE are intertwined. You’ve created a negative feedback loop in your mind (just like me) and it’s most likely also been exacerbated by unhelpful masturbation habits.

I think the biggest realization I’ve had so far (a little over two weeks into Mojo) is that I need to relax my body. My pelvic floor muscles have been improperly trained on top of carrying a ton of stress and anxiety in that area. So focusing on reverse kegels has seemed to help. You’ve also probably been clenching your PC muscle during masturbation because you’ve set the goal as cumming…and the easiest way to get there is to contract the PC muscle to create the ejaculation response. So you have to reverse that. Change the finish line mentally and work on the physical.

So you’re battling, most likely, a tense PC/pelvic floor as well as psychological rushing. My body/mind realize I’m finally hard enough to penetrate, so I do. And then that fires off the next round of anxiety and subconsciously my body rushes to cum so we don’t miss our chance! And that’s also part of the fight or flight response during sex.

We gotta reprogram our minds which will help reprogram our bodies.

Stick with it. You’ve got this.


Thanks for sharing your experience. To clarify by negative feedback loop you mean me rushing into cumming because of my masturbation habits?

For the negative feedback loop, I’m more referring to the ED and the PE. You can’t get hard, which sets off all the alarm bells and anxiety. Now your fight or flight system has taken over which is making you PE once you’re inside. Then, the next time you have sex, you’re thinking about the PE and then you’re anxiety ramps up and now you can’t get hard. And then you finally get hard (if you’re lucky) and you penetrate and then your body takes back over and you PE. That’s the loop.

So follow the masturbation guides on mojo. They are developed to change up the reason and the way you masturbate.

Stop clenching/tightening your pelvic floor muscles… that’s preparing you to ejaculate.

And do the mind/psychological work to start breaking your mental participation in the loop. Inner critic/inner coach. Mindfulness.

Stay the course brother. I haven’t been successful yet, but I’m starting to see the path.

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Thanks for the advice, knowing that I can fix my issues through mental work and exercises gives me hope, good luck with your journey as well