I have had ED issue for 2 years now. I think its psychological rather than physical issue. My sexual libido is too high always thinking of sex, porn etc and when it comes to physical intimacy it doesn’t last long or can’t get hard before penetration. Its very different from what it used it be. My issue is I think of sex all the time. Partner and I watch porn occasionally which actually makes it more interesting. My main issue is that I imagine a lot of my sexual activities to be outside of our bedroom mainly outdoors, beach even other people watching us. My partner is the opposite and it doesn’t turn him on doing it outdoors. How do I control this and lower my expectations and sort out my ED? Apology for oversharing.
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Mojo will help you begin to understand things more clearly. You will learn to get back into your body and out of your head. Sometimes in therapy we ask what is the function of the ‘dysfunction’? It feels as though your fantasies and thoughts can feel out of control and you think about things more than you would like to? Can you have a conversation with your partner, by talking things over, explaining what is going on for you and him, it might ease a lot of the anxiety without lowering anyones expectations? Good luck : )
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Though I’m bi and in a relationship with a woman, I relate to this. I feel like I’m constantly thinking and fantasising about sex but that doesn’t carry over to my connection with my partner as much anymore. I feel like I’m increasingly excited by the idea of trying new / adventurous things, whereas my partner is increasingly looking for something more intimate and comfortable, and it’s harder to find that overlap where we’re both in the mood for the same thing. For me, this causes a cycle where I’m continuing to turn to porn / fantasy for the adventurous fantasies and putting less of my energy sexually into the IRL connection. Hoping to change my expectations / approach to sex so that it doesn’t feel like there’s so much of a divide there