Discovering what turns me on

🍆 Erection issues
1

I think the most interesting challenge for me has been discovering what turns me on with my gf. Watching porn this early in life (4th grade) gave me such weird and unrealistic expectations on what sex is like. And I’m learning even in my young twenties that sex is not like porn. It sounds obvious but it was so jarring being with a real girl the first time after watching so much porn. The anxiety and shame and fear I let creep into my body doing something new the first time (and every time after that) felt so overwhelming I started seeing sex as like a chore - a thing to “do” and pretend I enjoy so I can please the person I’m with

Only recently have I started taking back the narrative and exploring what I like that turns me on - control, spanking , playing with her butt. I felt shameful wanting to do some of these things but I feel like that’s what works for me and it’s scary to think I could hurt her but she seems to like it. But I feel strange letting myself go like that, almost fearful.

4 Likes
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totally agree!

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Interesting topic!!

  1. Watched a lot of porn over the years. New relationship. I get the delineation between porn and sex. I’m very visual. (Hence the lifelong porn use…) I have a few kinks that Ive been reluctant to expose to my partner(s) due to shame… I’m into pretty, well cared for feet and also the vulnerability of bondage. Both are kinda frowned upon mainstream and considered taboo. I have opened up to my gf and found that she’s into really light bondage!! We’ve only tried it a couple times, but it was really fun- like everything- I gotta slow down and enjoy it. I was like the anxious kid at the public Easter egg hunt. Ran real fast at the whistle, but forgot to look for eggs..
    I also started giving her foot massages and she loves them!! She knows I think her feet are really sexy and she’s genuinely enjoying the attention that I give them….
    My point is: I’ve repressed my feelings due to shame & embarrassment. That has held me back for YEARS!!
    In fact- (she loves missionary) I usually lose it when I go from foreplay to go time, if that happens I can usually do some mind gymnastics and focus on the hottie just laying there wanting nothing but to please and be pleased! She’s also found that if she asks for attention to her feet that it’ll get me hard!
    May not be your thing, but maybe you could insert one of your kinks in the situation…
    Good luck yall!!!:four_leaf_clover: