Destructive Cycle

I’ve been having performance anxiety for a while now, maybe a few months and the thing that concerns me most is the destructive cycle in my head that jumps up each time I come to have sex. At first it was just thinking “oh this is a one off it won’t happen again” and now the thoughts are more and more of “you failed last time so it’ll happen again this time” so gets progressively worse. Anyone had this experience and if so how did you manage to get over it?


I’ve gone through phases of this too. I’ve found that box breathing can help, and the wax and wane exercises are good for proving to yourself you can do it. It takes a bit of time. You can do it :muscle:


I feel the same mate. Still working through it myself.

1 Like

the meditations are good too for practice of managing these thoughts - they will come but need practice to let them go each time

1 Like

Here are some things that I think could help:

  • CONSISTENT SLEEP: This means sleeping before midnight and getting 7–8 hours of sleep a night.
  • COFFEE: I find that my mind goes into these same negative states/cycles when I’m low on energy. Typically, when I have caffeine running through my system, I notice that I am more positive and present. This HELPS ME, but may not help everyone and you should definitely NOT rely on coffee as a mood stabilizer.
  • MEDITATION & BOX BREATHING: I like to meditate while I am doing my box breathing. I do about 10 minutes worth, and it really allows me to clear my thoughts aswell as notice any emotions that are arising while I am meditating.
  • PORN & MASTURBATION: Just cut it bro. I know you’ve seen all the different posts saying cut out masturbation and porn, so I won’t waste my breath. But fr, that shit destroys your ability to perform and overall confidence.

Idk who you are but I love and want you to know that there is a solution. Even if it isn’t what I described above. But under NO circumstances should u give up. Don’t do it. You got it man.


Cheers bro, I’ll try them tips and like you say, once I find a solution it’ll all sort itself out, just got to tell myself to be patient and fight the bad thoughts