Hey there. I’m not a huge sharer, but I feel like I have an unusual issue. I can’t really get fully erect, but if I do, I cannot ejaculate. I’m not sure what to do.
I’m not too sure about the answer… I’m new to this site. But I can tell you that I have the same issue and last weekend, it caused the girl I was with to seriously doubt whether I found her attractive and led to her being quite upset.
I’m the same, but know MS is the main contributing factor. The big ‘o’ is a good friend I have lost…
I have this issue, more so than difficulties getting hard. Originally this was due to a medication I take (which is well known for having this effect). But I recognise that it has now got into my head and it’s more to do with the psychology of not reaching ejaculation, rather than the physiology
Hey, I have a similar issue. Hence why I’m on mojo. I can’t get hard at all with my partner but alone in bed at night then I would for no reason at all. I also find when I masturbate I can ejaculate even tho I might not be fully hard. When hard then alone I don’t either. I used medication before also and get so hard I get orgasm but no ejaculation. It’s strange. So this is why I’m on mojo but I’m also going to see a specialist or urologist about the ejaculation. You might also have retrograde ejaculation if you orgasm or feel like you go the full mile but nothing comes out.
Hi @good-blue-squirrel , what is MS?
You’re not alone with this problem. That’s one of the main reasons why I’m on Mojo. It has to be something psychological, but what it is and how to stop it is a mystery.
I am the same, i have never been able to ejaculate and even avaoid condoms to try and increase stimulation. I usually have wrcetion issues with someone i dont know but would give anything to be able to finish properly.
I am just getting started with Mojo. Delayed ejaculation has been a long-term issue for me. It on very rare occasion I have been able to orgasm through hand, oral, or vaginal stimulation. Unfortunately it feels like a I can go up the mountain of arousal, but can not reach the peak. I believe it is a combination of psychological block / performance anxiety and physical conditioning from masturbation (and masturbation with porn). I would love to be fixed or have a path to the solution.
This is such an issue for me as well. One step I took is to get a masturbation toy so that I can’t ‘death grip’ my way through. This has now led me to realizing I was leaning on porn and ‘just getting off’ and wasn’t really in it. I don’t even really have fantasies anymore. So here I am on Mojo. Did the Mojo connect today and someone said the 2nd week meditations were helpful. I’m super optimistic! Hope that this thread can have some people answering what they are doing to work with this as well.
Thanks for adding to the thread. I have read about death grip, porn, and “spectating” during intercourse being issues.
I have tried using a toy to avoid death grip, but I am not really sure I have a plan so that I can then be conditioned to paying attention to the pleasure I receive from others. I am so in my head about keeping it up and doing the right thing so that my partner enjoys themselves. That hasn’t been easy.
I really appreciate you talking to your struggle. It is very similar to mine. the peak of pleasure to get to the ‘point of no return’ is a huge goal of mine and feels like it gets smaller and smaller of a chance to get to it. I get close to it, but then fall away. Once it doesn’t happen, or I miss it, it can feel like trying to hold onto sand or water. No matter what I do the hold makes it slip through/away from me faster. I’d like to present an idea that maybe we don’t need to be fixed. I feel like part of the reason I ended up here was that I found I wanted to experience my sex life in a different way. With or without erection. I want more pleasure and to be less about destination and summing. Maybe its not a broken issue, but a side step that we’ve taken. (my years of therapy are showing hope it is taken well.
This is a great response. The mindset you describe is important. I veer towards wanting to control or power through what I feel are deficiencies in myself, and when the solution is not apparent or I fail to figure it out, I end up in either a place of anger or my self-esteem is challenged.
The idea that we are okay exactly as we are is a good starting point. Being happy with what we have rather than searching for what we don’t is perhaps that mindset.
Relaxing a little may help.
Hello! Thought I’d revive this one a little as it still is troubling me.
I got to some reflecting and realize that I’m constantly worried that my medication changes are the cause. It is like I’m looking for a blame. And yet, I have had periods of no problem ejaculating on the meds. So it leads me to think I’ve psyched myself out a bit.
I can’t figure out what to do when I get close and it slips away. Anyone have any ideas? I also find my mind wandering after the first slip making it harder to want to continue (with myself) or with a partner (who also loses some interest).
I have this exact same problem. I battle to get hard when with someone but get hard for seemingly no reason by myself. I can’t ejaculate when with someone but can easily by myself. I am 30 and was in a long term relationship for 6 years and still have not had someone other than me make me ejaculate.
Me too, my man. My wife and i have had a hard ride, I can see why it’s mental but, I often am not fully hard and about half the time I just can’t come. My wife has also doubted if I find her attractive. The thing is, I do, and I want it, but it just does not work…
I was in that exact situation when i was younger. A girlfriend lay me down and said, “okay, can you make yourself cum in front of me?”. I did and it helped a lot, especially with her. I still struggle with ED and delayed ejaculation but I agree with one of the posts above: for myself it seems to be a combo of conditioning myself with porn and wanking, anxiety and how attracted I am to my partner.
Same for me. I used be able to get it up forever but id never cum. Now it’s a case of I can get it up but it might well go back down and i still wont cum, through vaginal sex that is. If i masturbate or my partner does it to me its fine. I think i conditioned myself to cumming in a certain way and my brain is stuck there. In the past I worked on masturbating differently, slower, light, more varied…and being completely present and it really helped?! Like making love to yourself unfortunately I was single at the time and went the porn route again