I have been learning about psychological ED and along the way of read about a lot of men who masturbate aggressively, with a tight grip, and sometimes no lub. IE the " death grip".
I don’t exactly do that but it did occur to me that I frequently masturbate with p*** and to quite a tight grip on myself. And over the years, I found that I really need my partner to have a tight grip as well, and often can’t climax unless my partner is using a hand and that tight grip.
I’ve been reading that masturbating in a more gentle way is the way to regain sensitivity. I really do think that I’ve either lowered my sensitivity or just built up a need to have much more aggressive force and sensation.
I wonder if anyone else has experienced this and how they overcame it. Already I am trying to use a lighter grip on myself and try to feel the sensations more instead of just needing squeezing all the time and rushing to climax. It’s not easy.
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What I did was I took a couple of days to a week off from masturbation or touching myself in anyway then when I got back to it I made sure I was touching lightly and slowly. If it doesn’t seem to work the first few times it’s fine just keep doing it lightly and eventually that will be your new normal
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Thanks. I tried it a couple of times. It’s super weird - I realize now how I usually just kind of sprint to the finish, squeeze and jerk and cum as fast as possible while being totally focused on porn. Man I think 'i screweed myself up and it’ll take a bit of time to unwind it
I wasn’t able to finish with the soft touch, but I sorta got some enjoyment out of it - until I got impatient and tightened up to finish. But, not as much or as mindlessly as usual. so, that’s something.
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Yeah man, been there. Just know that it doesn’t take as long as you think and that it’s a process. Doesn’t happen over night but meditation really helps too. Helps you not worry so much about things and it will help you understand that any negative thoughts you have about it are nothing but thoughts. Even just trying is progress so be happy with yourself for that.
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Hi so I’m seeing a women who’s a fair few years younger than me . Anyway the sex is amazing she is my dream girls in every way however as a testicular cancer patient ( all clear now) I am finding I get very anxious in the bedroom sometime losing my errection sometimes not getting it up at all . I also have never managed to ejaculate during sexual intercourse with her ( or anyone previously ) I haven’t had many sexual partners . I really want to be able to release my mind and enjoy it fully with her as she means the absolute world to me . She says it’s ok and is very understanding but deep down I worry I’m not finishing with her . Any advise ?
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I’m making progress.
I have PED and death grip from a bad marriage- lots of quick solo/porn sessions)
I slowed down on porn and solo.
Loosened my grip and added a good lube (Woo coconut oil). Sometimes I use a silicone sleeve with minimal pressure. I’ve heard of guys using a hard cased fleshlight so they can’t grip hard.
The other night I used very minimal porn, some images in my head of gf and I, very light pressure and very slow speed. Almost teasing myself.
I told myself (in her voice:) that this is all you get- Kinda playing a game with myself.
Didn’t take as long as I thought and when I finished it was really good!