All. Been here on/off about a year. Have a steady super understanding gf. We’ve talked about my ed/deathgrip a lot and she’s super onboard.
I can get hard during oral then lose it when penetrating. Typical..
I can usually get it back and get in with 60-70% wood. -That’s actually improving!! I’m really in the moment. Inner critic is manageable.
I want to focus on death grip. For a long time I played solo. Now I can’t finish with her. Pussy, mouth, hand. Nothing.
Sometimes I can finish myself, but it takes forever and when I do finish, I’ve done all kinds of fantasizing and mental gymnastics to get there.
I still go solo sometimes. Now I use a good lube and sometimes a silicone sleeve.
How have you overcome deathgrip???
I’m new here. Take this with a grain of salt, because I’m not an expert, but I found in the past that pulling out and rubbing on her pubic bone could stimulate me more. You just need to make sure there’s enough lube and that it’s not uncomfortable for her since you’ll basically be dry humping her clit. Just an idea.
Death grip is not such a well-defined and accepted phenomenon. It is so hard to distinguish physical and psychological issues in that case. I sometimes think I have it and then sometimes not.
From all I read this is always reversible. The problem is just the way we masturbate, tight grip, high frequency etc, mind and body gets used to it. If we change that it will improve. If you already changed the way you mastubate consistently for a sufficient time and it still doesn’t work, problem might be purely psychological maybe…
I feel like I’ve conquered death grip. I feel like abstaining from masturbation for 1 month and then getting off with the MINIMAL pressure (i.e.2 fingers lightly on my penis) convinced me it really was a re-sensitzation process.
Ironically, using lube and a silicone sleeve is harder for me. But abstaining and then proving to yourself you can get off with a very light touch I think convinced me this is beatable.
The issue is it takes a bit longer and you may not get off as reliably, so you need to not give into the temptation of going with a stronger grip.
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Its a really simple fix, but I solved this by using a fleshlight so that I can’t squeeze. Really helped me!
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You can use an artificial vagina, it really works, pocket pussy or a realistic female body.
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Really appreciate this nuanced reply
Interesting.
She’s away helping her mom. Last night I went solo with the intention of light pressure & slow motion. I found myself wanting to increase pressure&speed, but fantasized that she wouldn’t let me. ‘Slow and steady is all you get!’
It was erotic. Kinda felt like I was edging myself. I came close several times. (Something I’ve not really done). But really satisfying!
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Having read this yesterday, I wasn’t too aware of what death grip was but I relate to it so much. Had a horrible thought of me squeezing myself as hard as I would squeeze a bar/dumbbell in the gym!! So yesterday I tried consciously being softer with it, patient, and surprised myself at the results! Thanks for putting this here as I wouldn’t have thought about it otherwise
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I’m considering getting a fleshlight to try. I had one in the past but broke it (too big lol). I may just try no fap for a bit and see how that works. If all else fails I’ll try the fleshlight again
I’ve been using a silicone sleeve off and on and can finish reliably with that.
Last night I used a good lube and a light grip. Slow and steady. I found myself wanting to speed up and grip tighter, but I made a game out of it as if she were teasing me-‘that’s all you get!!’. It was like I was edging myself, tho I have not done it much… When I finally finished, it was very satisfying!
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Good call! Maybe I’ll try the fleshlight again. Just be gentle on it.