I’ve been seeing this girl that I’ve been friends with for years, but the last few times we’ve been doing stuff it takes me a while to get hard, then when I do and I put a condom on, I lose it.
I saw her tonight, we made out, I was eating her pussy and enjoying all of her body, she was playing with me whilst I was doing that, but I wasn’t fully hard. She was sucking me off and my dick got rock hard - I was enjoying ramming my cock down her throat and making her choke. All was well. But as soon as I put the condom on, I go soft.
I know that once I go inside her I will be okay, but there’s just something going on before that that just kills it for me. And it feels like there’s a time pressure to use it before it goes soft.
I know that I can go hard and stay hard if I play with myself (though usually requires pretty constant touching), so I think it is something in my head. But I just don’t know what to do.
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I mean, if you’ve been friends with her for years, is there enough trust there to let her know the effects condoms have on you and invite her to help you address it? Maybe the next time you’re done eating her out, she can go back to blowing you and use her mouth to apply the condom? Or you put it on, sit back, and make it her job to get you hard again? Some sensory deprivation might help you focus on the touch that might be reduced from the condom. Just ideas.
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Same here man. Condom is a vibe killer. Went 6 years in last relationship without one. Now single, needing to use one is messing with me. The sensation and even the look of it on just feels a bit weird - especially when not having used one for as long as I can remember…. I think it’s just something we have to get used to…I’ve been trying to put it in during solo just for practise..,
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I’ve actually only ever worn a condom once and it was for jerking off lol
I don’t use condom and I feel the same just between the process of getting lub and applying it. I lose the erection
It happens to me too. Then I have to go back to some kind of foreplay to get hard again usually. There’s a very short window to slide inside once I’m hard otherwise I lose it completely.
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I face the same challenge. My approach is to reduce reading erotica and reduce masturbating. I am also trying to do mindful masturbation.
I think it may be to losing sensitivity from too much porn or erotica or too much masturbation.
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I heard a therapist say think of a condom as a ticket to sex.
Once you put it on you’re free to fuck!
…says the guy with the vasectomy and monogamous GF…
Try jerking off with a condom from time to time, it may help you normalize the act of putting one on when you’re aroused. It certainly helped me!
Don’t want to be that guy but that was happening to me and I realised I was wearing the wrong size for the girth still working on other things but definitely stays longer now !