Guys been with my partner for 11 years now my wife!! Obviously had minor mishaps before in the bedroom but literally got over it in a heartbeat. But around last week was having sex when I put a condom on just lost my erection it seems to just have triggered something in my head the last two times we’ve gone to do it nothing happens for me no matter what I try now it’s like I’m constantly worrying giving myself bad Aniexty feel my chest is so tight it’s a nightmare! I went through a stage around 2 years ago where I had this for a bit too but just forgot about it and was fine until now! Worst thing is my wife thinks it’s her when it’s not!
To add to this about 3 weeks ago I was flying not a care in the world! It’s crazy getting me down it’s like I can’t control my own mind just wondering has anyone had the same situation before!
I have the same issues so I have not been using condoms with my wife. She is also perimenopause stage so part of the issue is me worrying about if I don’t pull out will she get pregnant. She is not going to take pills anymore for birth control and IUD (tried several IUDs but her body cannot handle them once inserted). I’m afraid to go for vasectomy since I have had ED issues for the last 6 years.
What has worked is just lots of foreplay. When my wife lets me do work on her (fingering, teasing and me going down on her) it allows me to be the most turned on so as long as I continue to tease her I hold off on penetration until my balls start to ache. Then I know I can have success!!
Yeah I mean like two weeks ago I was literally fine I’d always have like a little routine with condoms I’d have it out opened the pack ready to put it on I always felt when I’d stop get one out, opening it and putting it on would always kill them moment I’d just loose my erection. So I found a way with like having sex for a bit without one then just put one on when I was kinda close to finishing would always stay rock hard I know it’s just all psychological but it worked for me until last week or whenever it was exactly, she was on top and she said you better wear a condom, she ended up getting it out actually putting it on but I dunno what it what I just completely went soft then since that point I’ve been a wreck!! like I say always had like mishaps before but it’s never effected me this bad, the over thinking and Aniexty has really got to me this week it’s crazy. Until last night and this morning where we actually had sex successfully, it took some time to actually get me hard and going but she’s very understanding and just kept me calm and just kept reassuring me it doesn’t matter how long it takes we will get there and we did. My wife is also looking at coming off the pill too so probably have that looming over me when it comes to it but just keep telling myself it’s all in your head just relax!
Regarding a vasectomy, I wanted to say it was one of the best decisions I made as there is no longer a need for a condom. The amount of cum loss is negligible to irrelevant. It’s been a total relief not to have the hassle of condoms.