Can still get hard with masterbating, but no sex drive or random hardness

Hi. My first post on mojo. 46, lived half healthy, half partier lifestyle. Diabetic now. Up until 41 or so, had great sex drive/life. After my mother dying and a very bad (but oversexual) relationship, I just lost my sex drive or ability to get hard enough for sex. I no longer get random boners, but I can masterbate (porn, pics) and it gets hard and I can ejaculate. My last PCP said that he believes it’s all psychological. I haven’t lead the cleanest life and was a drinker and drug user (weekend warrior). My diabetes is controlled and these days I am strong, but my penis just doesn’t seem the same. Thanks in advance for any insight.

Hi, my first reply. In a similar position, I had a very bad relationship experience with my ex wife and also started using with her. Was in a lot of very sexually tense situations with her and her “friends”. Part of the relationship breakdown was that she resorted to prostitution to pay for her drugs when I couldn’t anymore. All the things that happened in the relationship have, imo, really contributed to my ED, lack of sexual drive etc. In hoping by using Mojo I can overcome the psychological block I have. It’s to the point now that even tablets are a hit of miss solution.

If sounds like to me that you have had a similar experience and have become wary of letting yourself be at ease about sex. I don’t know for sure that this is my problem but it seems the most logical to me.

I would agree with that. Really haven’t even dated in last 3 years so it’s hard to see what else is contributing to it but no doubt that removing booze and drugs are going to help. That and I guess being in a healthy relationship. My life the last 5-6 years has been a roller coaster of death, addiction and failed relationships but I am hopeful. I hope you are. Sounds like you have some similar things. Sorry about your ex wife. That’s difficult to go through.

Thanks, I do now have a loving partner and we’ve been together a few years now. My ED is also causing her an issue in her own self confidence. She is of the belief that I don’t find her attractive anymore which doesn’t help my inner critic which tells me I have to get an erection to prove to her that I do still find her attractive! It’s a horrible cycle! I tell her it’s not her but me but of course she doesn’t believe me!

I get that. What type of methods have you tried? Can you masterbate without using anything? For me my mind just hasn’t been on sex in a while. I think I have ADD or ADHD when it comes to focusing on sex or even finding a partner.

Most of the time I can’t get erect while masterbsting or if I do it’s more of a semi. It doesn’t boost me with confidence! But saying that, I think things are beginning to improve just very slowly. They say Rome wasn’t built in a day…