Busting to avoid going soft…

Hey guys, seems like everytime I’m hard enough to have sex I can’t help but worry that it’s a matter of time before I go soft. So I feel like I need to rush and bust before that happens. Obviously this makes sex quick and too short for her. But if I focus on things to last longer than I’m scared I’ll go soft and never get back up. Any similar thoughts/experiences?


I like to think of being hard as having ebbs and flows during the entire experience. Try not to think of the penetrative part as the entire experience, but rather, the finishing move, if you will. Taking time to pleasure your partner, even if it means softening up, is totally normal and I would imagine your partner would enjoy that. Rushing ruins the experience for the both of you! There have been some times where I would intentionally pull out knowing I would finish soon and go down on my partner, to truly flesh out the experience. It allows me to kinda cool down and focus on parts of her that need tending to before I go back in. But first and foremost, get outta your head and back in the moment with her and enjoy that moment!


Same feeling for me - cum before it’s too late! What I am trying is to focus on pleasuring her first then get to the penetrative sex later in so it feels like a more natural end

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Yea I hear you same. But when I pleasure her first, either go down on her or finger her or take foreplay real slow then I don’t get it up. It’s either go for it right away or my wood is gone and doesn’t come back


I love going down on my wife but like you it kills my ability to stay hard. I think because I’m so worried about going soft that I then go soft

Literally my life. Going down on my wife is my absolute favorite. I know she’s going to orgasm, which is my #1 goal when we have sex (which unfortunately isn’t that often due to low libido and other health issues on her part). When things start out, she’s able to get me hard with her hands while we’re kissing and foreplay and all that jazz. But as soon as I’m down there doing work, it’s right to soft for me. And when she’s reached orgasm, I’m left with basically what I started with…soft and not anywhere close to ready. If I manage to get hard enough to penetrate, it’s less than 30 seconds for me. I know she’s orgasmed, which is good. But I know she also enjoys the PIV sex, so I’m always left feeling like I let her down. It’s been a long time since we’ve had more than a minute worth of PIV sex. I hope I can fix that.

Yep… you’ve described last night for me…there is a long thread here so we are definitely not alone….
Getting out of my head works… when I can do it… but jeez… it’s a mind fcuk.
But I’m still in the game… and I’ll get through this…
Keep going chaps…

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I just try to remember that there’s no time limit on our sexplay. I may go inside her for while, have a good time there, back off and go down on her - and get soft while I do. Thats ok. Then, if i’m not “ready” to go when i want to be, we can lie together, make out, play, talk, do whatever… and then eventually, I will be - so it’s just a matter of warming her up a little for the next bout. In those situations, she often gets very excited to make me cum.

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