I was a top most of my life but have become versatile as of late because of ED. When lying on my back or stomach while getting fucked I still didnāt get hard but I tried getting on top and riding and with a little stimulation I was able to actually get hard and cum which excited my husband. He then came the way he likes to. The reason I say this isb because maybe you can try and please yourself while getting fucked first in whatever position feels best to you, you might find that the excitement your partner gets from satisfying you first could be a turning point in your journey. I think that honest communication about your issues between both of you is important though as well as being present in the moment. If this idea starts to feel like to much pressure, abandon if for that session without self judgement, take some deep breaths and just come back to the moment. This ED stuff is hard work. Dont give up hope.
Itās hard for me to be sexually vulnerableā if thatās the right word. Basically, I feel awkward with my own image and I project that onto my boyfriends/the guy Iām hooking up with. I tend to hookup with guys that I think are more attractive than me because I have given them power to dictate my self image and self worthā that if a hot guy calls me hot, I am hot. More often than notā me and these guys catch a vibe and I want to top. I canāt get to the next step because I canāt get it up. I want this, my partner wants this, but my dick thinks I am worthy of being pleased/desired sexually because I have so much guilt surrounding my image. I am physically insecure and characteristically insecure with my personality.
That if I let my partner focus on me and my pleasure instead
Thatās hard because I feel awkward and not desirable and
I have a hard time with attraction. I have a hard time being with my own image and sometimes I get in my head that guys donāt like me which self realizes
Married Gay top but due to Ed issues have been occasionally trying to bottom. Really thrilled to see that this has helped so many gay men - hope this will help me as well
Iāve never felt more seen and understood than after reading all these comments. How do we start a support group??
Gay bottom here, mostly because of ED. Many of the stories here as exactly what goes through my head. Focus on the topās pleasure and maybe he wonāt notice Iām not rock hard during sex. I have such anxiety that heāll look down, see Iām soft, and get turned off or not think Iām enjoying the sex. I have to get out of my own way - Mojo is a good start (Iāve been using this for a week)
I just saw your comment and had a bit of an epiphany because goddamn, youāre right. If anyone would understand, it would be another gay man.
This is really helpful to keep in mind. Thanks!
Yeah this is exactly why Iām on here, I wish the content was a bit more LGBT centric
I would tell you that your partner is with you because of who you are as a person, so donāt worry or donāt feel the pressure to perform, and just go for it, even if you donāt get hard the first time, you have a lot of time and opportunities to try again
For me its all about how I want to c*m. Iām submissive so I donāt want head or to f**k my partner. I want to finish in a submissive way.
Get out of your own head. You are dating a human, not a robot. And more than that, you are dating a guy. We are much less complicated when it comes to those things than girls tbh and a simple discussion will probably be enough. Good luck!
I was doing the same and honestly thought it was odd but sort of normal but now reading my experience as you describe it so similarly makes me aware I definitely need some work and to immerse myself also in the experience not just please him, which Iām sure factors into other aspects of my life possibly. #peoplepleasertothemax
Iām in the Same boat here as a gay bottom so can relate to what everyone is saying. Good to hear itās not just me!
So I am on here as long story short my relationship has no sex in it. We are going to try sparking back up the intermittency part in the relationship. The thing I am worried about is he wants me to top him, I have never topped anyone before so I am nervous of not satisfying him and then he thinks weāll thatās was a waste of time.
I usually bottom but I have not had sex in a few years, I was in a relationship but we did oral sex nothing more, so I am renewed virgin as the saying goes now.
I hope this app trains my mind and penis to be able to give him the best satisfaction as possible.
We have already made a mental note that we are going to take it slow, so start with oral but hopefully when it comes to the sex part I am ready to please him.
I agree
I have gay fantasies
Straight guy here.
I have several issues including PED, death grip and a nagging inner critic.
Iām reading the OPās post as if he were me. I exist to make my gf cum. I solely focus on her and her pleasure. Mostly because Iām embarrassed that I donāt have a big dick or that it often doesnāt cooperate for traditional sex! I get pleasure from watching her writhe and cum at my tongue, fingers or sometimes my cock. She feels guilty because Iāve only cum 4-5 times in 6 months in her presence. Many of them by my own hand because Iām too used to my own handā¦ā¦ I feel horrible that I canāt cum from her talented mouth or her hand or her sweet pussy.
When itās my turn, sheāll go down, use her hand or a toy on me and lately after 15-20 min Iāll take over. Sheās loving watching me jerk off and cum all over.
What Iām saying is donāt feel guilty for needing some extra attention or non traditional method to get your release. You have needs too. You just need to help your partner navigate getting you there!
Iām actually thinking about asking my gf to massage my prostate from within. Iāve had prostate orgasms and theyāre intense. That may be a way you could get your partner to get you off without needing a hardon?