Anticipation giving me anxiety

I am a married man and have been suffering with some performance anxiety on and off for the past 2 years, prior to having a bad event we had a healthy sex life . It is always in the back of mind like will I lose my erection and it got the best of me a week ago and lost it during sex now it is like a haunting thought that I can’t get out of my head. Scared to initiate sex because I am afraid I can’t get it up and if I do I lose it during sex … not sure what I can do.

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That’s why you’re here. A lot of us have similar stories and sharing your thoughts and feelings, working on your mental health, and doing the exercises, all that will help.

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Same man, same

I’m in a new relationship after a divorce that left me with a lot of stress and anxiety. With my new partner…I’m having the same issue as you are. I literally go into fight or flight and it’s a terrible feeling. I feel like a complete failure as a man.

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I have the same with my fiance i believe the word is in english. At first i took pills because they supposedly need an hour to work we just really take our time with foreplay. What happened to me was when i got soft it turned into a negative feedback loop but with the pills my mind just went “ah they’re just not working yet” as a result i was alot calmer and could peform and after 2 times i did so without the pills because they where still there sort of a placebo effect if you will. Ofcourse i don’t like having to rely on the presence of pills hence why i’m here but it can at least alleviate the pressure. I don’t mean to imply just take pills but more or less to use their presence to trick your doubts.

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Thanks for sharing I’m having a very similar experience. That haunting feeling of the last time I lost my erection creeps up on me now almost every time. When I’m otherwise very relaxed, sometimes I can get through it. But when I’m already stressed there’s no chance. As soon as the thought enters my head I lose my erection. Very frustrating and very difficult to explain to my partner why it is happening or how to fix it.

I recently got out of a 24 year relationship and now I’m with a wonderful gorgeous woman. I had an instant where I couldn’t get it up in the morning and ever since I’ve had issues… constantly ruminating on it… it’s driving me crazy.

Yeah the rumination is what kills me and I just spin out of control with that sometimes

Yeah I have done that just use it as a mental safety net I guess