A vicious cycle with no end in sight

It feels good to be finally sharing this, but I can hear my inner critic starting to get going even as type. Here goes anyway…

I’ve suffered PE on and off since as far back as I can remember. I experienced some sexual trauma as a child, was circumstized aged 12 and woke up during the operation, and also had some unconventional sexual experiences as a teenager.

In the past, I controlled my PE issue using alcohol and viagra. Getting hard was never a problem for me, just the PE, so I would masurbate the morning prior to sex, take the pill, have a few drinks and the issue would be dealt with. Instastud!

Once I’d been in a stable relationship for a while having regular sex, my confidence would grow and the PE tended to go away. So until now, it’s been an issue, but one I’ve been able to manage.

My wife and I have been together 12 years and always enjoyed regular and satisfying sex. We had a kid 5 years ago now, at which point my wife’s libido dropped off a fair amount. But then 3 years back her Mum passed away suddenly and our relationship really hit the rocks.

Since then, with a lot of hard work, we’ve managed to get the non-sexual side of things pretty much back on track. But as far as intimacy goes, things seem to be heasing in totally the opposite direction.

The PE is worse than ever before. I am ejacualting even prior to penetration, and yet I can’t even get a half decent erection when I attempt to mastubate alone.

I’ve talked to my wife who says she’s keen To help, but this doesn’t ever come to anything. She tells me she really doesn’t enjoy sex with me anymore, and she also pretty much just wants penetration when we do. Which of course doesn’t help me in the slightest.

I am getting pretty desperate and the whole thing feels like a horrendous downward spiral. The more we don’t have sex, the more I worry about the next time. I feel like it’s killing my marriage and crushing my soul at the same time.

Genuinely seating to thin that celibacy might be the only way forward…