I’m 43, my wife is 45, and we’ve been married since our early 20s. We’ve always had a good sex life, but for the past 2 months, I haven’t been able to get hard enough for penetrative sex. Even before that, I noticed I wasn’t getting as hard as usual. I can still get morning wood, but not when I’m with my wife or during solo attempts. Viagra and Cialis haven’t helped.
I’ve dealt with major depression and GAD for years. I was on SSRIs, which eventually affected my erections after a dosage change. I switched to Wellbutrin, then stopped all meds 2 months ago—no change. Around the same time, my urologist found my testosterone was slightly low (not clinical “low T”). I started Clomid, and now my T levels are 709 total, 102.1 free. Still no improvement.
I want to have sex, I want to enjoy it, and I want to give that to my wife—penetrative sex matters to both of us. We’ve been communicating more about sex (I grew up in strict purity culture, she didn’t), and she’s supportive. But this has been draining. My inner critic is loud and cruel, and I’m just tired of this. Anyone relate or have insights?