So, I’ve been practicing more with a flesh light. Actual partnered sex has become more and more pleasurable. I’ve gained confidence and am more comfortable in the bedroom in partnered situations.
I still require my hand for a little hard and fast at the end when I find an opportune time that’s as good as any to cum, because I tend to get delayed ejaculation when partnered. I need my hand hard and fast to get myself to the edge even when using the flesh light most times, but generally I’m staying more hard while penetrating with the flesh light or a partner so there’s improvement.
With the rest of Mojo, I’ve been relaxing pressure on myself about fluctuating hardness, accepting this is normal and occurs for most guys in some way and degree, and gaining confidence in being able to get myself more hard in the moment when noticing a dip, just about confidence and focus.
But yeah, I’ll need my hand just to get myself to that edge, there can be a lot of play before, penetration, going slow and tuning into the sensations, building intensity, but then to pull out and use my hand to get myself close to cumming, after which I can go inside again for the explosive finish, or finish myself on her body, or hand myself off for her to finish me off in her hand. It’s weird, I’m still at a point where my own hand can more reliably get me there (i can’t pelvic thrust nearly as fast as my hand), though I’m getting more and more pleasure through penetration (even with condom, which also is a barrier we have to learn to work with). It’s a process.
What are your experiences with this, guys? I hope to rely on my hand at the end less and less. But it’s still integral at least at the end when I want to cum. What are your thoughts.
If you’re both monogamous, simply get tested and forgo the rubbers…
…says the guy with a vasectomy…
Well, even without a condom, I’d require my hand to get me close when I want to finish. I wish I didn’t gave to rely on my hand for such, but I’m relieved that I’m more confident than before in maintaining an erection at all during sexual encounters.
With delayed ejaculation, is anyone else experiencing that they require their hand necessarily, that penetration though pleasurable can’t quite get you there, let alone partner’s mouth and/or hand?
With enough time, concentration, and both parties enthusiastic until the end investing in making the moment special and sexy, finishing will eventually happen, but it’s just frustrating it can take awhile. And the moment my partner feels wiped out and turning over to rest, it won’t be able to happen for me …
Tbh I have a death grip as well. Married for 23 years and basically sexless for the last 10…. I’ve come quite familiar with my hand. And porn. She left a year ago.
I have a new gf and PED… working this app for a few months I’ve realized I have PED, death grip and an unhealthy relationship with porn. Gave up porn and solo about 90% a while ago.
During sex, head or a handy, I can’t cum. Tbh I’m sooo used to my hand, I’m the only way I can cum. Once a couple weeks ago she was able to finish me with her hand. Barely. In 6 months I’ve cum only 3 times with her in the room. I’m with her 2-3 nights a week. I have 0 issues by myself….
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Yeah, I hear you. But youre getting functional erections with her and for all partnered activities, right? Its just cumming that is the tricky spot?
I had some erection issues, losing it through performance anxiety. Once I got confidence about erections (the app has been helpful), I can regain hardness when I go a bit soft in the course of activities. Just getting to that point ready to cum is frustrating as I can’t get there necessarily without my hand’s involvement. But I’ve been finding I can work myself up to that point with my hand and then hand it off to my partner to finish me off with a handy and/or mouth, or once I got myself to that edge I can re-enter and cum while inside her (just I can’t cum from penetration alone without help from my hand).
But anyway, giving is an absolute pleasure for me, it’s more natural for me than to allow myself to enjoy the pleasure of receiving. I figure it’s a learning process.
Using lube when by myself and a flesh-light/pocket-pussy for solo has been exactly what I need to train away from my hand. Have you tried?
I’m getting 50-70% erections. I lose it when I go to penetrate…. It’s no fun…
Yeah, it’s a process. But do try to vary up your solo practice, a flesh-light with plenty of lube. That was something very good for me, to get away from your hand a little.
Like I said, I still have a reliance on my hand at this point at least for getting myself to that edge, but otherwise receiving oral and penetration are able to happen and it’s feeling pleasurable as it should.
The death grip in a passive position kills our ability to tune in. I think. Practice in solo just tuning in to the sensations and the pleasure, even if it’s still your hand but with lube, which just that was a revelation to me.