I’m currently in the process of stopping using porn using the Easy Peasy method (I would recommend if you’re struggling). However, when I still have sex, I’m unable to cum during sex and have to use my own hand afterwards - is this likely to change?
Look up death grip.
It’s likely you are too used to your own hand or technique or ?
I sure am. Longtime porn/solo guy. Married to frosty the snow wife…… now with a wonderfully understanding woman. We’re working on my issue together.
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I’m in the same boat. But practicing solo with lube made a difference, as did also practicing solo with a flesh-light/pocket-pussy.
We become too accustomed to our own hand, and as our colleague said, the infamous death grip. I’m enjoying and experiencing more pleasure with my partner, whether with her hand or mouth, or penetrating her, which I credit to changing my solo activities up for getting familiar with other sensations than my own hand (flesh-light, etc). But when it comes time to cum, I’m still struggling like you to require my hand to be integrated at least at that point.
As so, I can use my hand to get myself to that edge before cumming, and if I want to cum inside my partner or allow her to finish me off with her hand by that point. I just need that moment of me bringing myself to that edge. It can be frustrating because any thought of “this is taking too long” or “she’s getting tired” can knock me off course and delay cumming, requires consistent tuning into the sensations and pleasure to be able to get to that edge, and such distractions really dusturb that flow and contribute to delaying cumming.
I’ve also found fantasizing or visualizing myself exploding helps in my concentration to get to that edge. Try it.
Anyway, I don’t know how open you are with exploring solo with a flesh-light, but I can’t recommend this enough.
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I can usually get 60-70% hard for sex which isn’t ideal even with Cialis and a restrictive silicone ring when in with gf. (Sometimes 80% during oral…but can’t cum…)
As soon as I go home or she leaves my place I can get 95% and finish with a fleshlite…. I don’t understand my body…
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Update. This morning she got frisky and wanted to make me cum. I’ve only cum 3? Times in her presence in 6 months…
She got me hard with her hand and some lube. Telling me she wanted to watch me explode with her head laying on my chest. I could tell she was getting tired so I took over. She kept caressing my chest and talking to me. I focused on what was going on and my mind went to a stay scene from a month ago with her and I came fairly quickly!!! Big improvement. Weeks ago it may have taken me 20-30 min of fapping with her encouragement….
Be in the moment.!
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I was reading about DE. When it’s being too familiar with your hand, there can be a process. There can be a subconscious inhibition about cumming in front them. But getting used to cumming in front of a partner, allowing ourselves to cum in front of them. The process described was watching each other masturbate and you get yourself there, then transitioning to allowing her to use her hand to replace your hand that you’re accustomed to, the later stage is what I’ve been using to some success in using my hand to that edge before cumming and then putting it inside and allowing myself to cum then once penetrated.
It’s annoying that i still need my hand at all as part of this process, but it’s relieving to see that i can and am getting more comfortable with cumming with them.
There’ll be play and penetration before i pull out and use my hand to help reach climax, anyhow, and I can get hard with her stimulating, foreplay, etc. It’s just the very end, I just need my hand a little bit.
Also, because you’re no stranger to using a flesh-light, at least in solo. I, myself, have been wondering about using it as a tool in partnered sex, maybe even having her manipulate it on me or hold it, certainly in instances when she gets tired (and it’s taking too long, etc). I haven’t tried it with her, yet. But it’s a thought that came up. What do you think? Would your partner be open to integrating it together when she gets tired or whatever? I am very curious myself in seeing about integrating it occasionally in partnered sex. I don’t see it as a big deal because some women integrate a dildo on themselves or let their partner manipulate the dildo on them as part of partnered sex.
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I remember doing doggy, pulling out and putting my face there giving her pleasure, all the while fapping. Then coming back up and going back inside and keep thrusting for a little while. Then repeating in pulling out to eat her while fapping, and I found myself getting so excited, then when I put it back inside was a couple of thrusts and I was cumming.
Sometimes it’s not as fool proof, I’m having to stop and concentrate more while fapping toward that edge before then proceeding to penetrate again to cum. It’s nice when she plays with herself as you’re getting yourself ready to that edge.
But I’m seeing this overall as very helpful.