I’m 49, married with 3 boys. I went through severe depression for 5 years and lost touch with my wife. During this time, she had an affair for 2.5 years. She didn’t look for it, she got preyed by a narc. We’ve had therapy and the whole situation has badly hurt by confidence, my libido and I think has caused ED. My wife and I are in a good place now (she told me about the affair in Sept 2020 and were heading for divorce for 6 months). But there is minimal physical intimacy. We hug at night but not really kiss. I have low confidence to make a move and she’s not interested because she’s had a bad nerve injury in her leg that has meant she’s disabled. Just want other people’s advice or suggestions here …
Thanks
Its whatever works for you as a couple and family. Though with kids.
Marriages and people can survive without sex. Society tells you that we must have sex on a regular baiss but thats not true. If both partners are happy then i dont see the problem. Hugging at night is a good thing. You csn also be initimate in other ways. You dont need to have physical intercourse.
The affair isnt something i could forgive but thats my personal opinion. Looks like (as a couple) youve come so far and you should probably keep going. Perhaps more couples therapy/counciling specifically around physical intimacy?
As always… Communication is very important. its essier said than done - i know that.
Good Luck and best wishes to you.