My girlfriend and I have been traveling for a few weeks with another couple and have not had a chance to āget it onā since being in another country (about two weeks).
Mojo was helping a lot up until we left for the trip, and I hadnāt had any issues and I felt like our communication on my sudden ED was helping. Finally, last night we were trying to get sexy. I was hard and excited, but the second I started to try to stick it in, I thought I was about to cum. Because of this, I went to get a condom.
Even though it only took about 30 seconds to grab a condom and put it on, during that time I started getting into my own head and started getting soft. This isnāt the first time this has happened where if I get up to get a condom or her vibrator when things are going well, that Iāll all of a sudden start worrying about getting soft.
Maybe Iām also in my head that we havenāt done anything in a few weeks and I worry Iām losing the progress that Iāve made. Iām not sure how I can stay in the moment and stay hard during the time when Iām trying to put on a condom, especially when things are going so well up to that point
1 Like
Is it better to get out the condom but only put it on after youāve gone back to your partner and put it nearer to her vagina ( itās virtually about to go in). Put it on only then ?
1 Like
Dude I feel this.
When Iāve been with new partners, obviously, safety is paramount. But when I stop what Iām doing to focus on putting on the condom, my inner critc starts yelling ātheres no sensation! hurry up! your gonna lose it!ā This kicks on fight or flight, and I Indeed lose my erection.
What Iāve been doing as recent is telling myself that yes, there isnāt any sensation, and yes your penis may get softer as is common when having sex. You will get it back, itās OK, this is all part of the act of Intercourse. I feel as though it may be because we are having such a great time having Foreplay and then your mind switches to the act of getting a condom as a separate thing entirely. Itās not, itās all part of the dance.
If Iām feeling anxious and I know that this could be an issue, I try to keep the condom close by and when the time comes, ask my partner to stimulate me while I get the condom ready so the transition is more seamless.
Hope this helps!
3 Likes
The waxing and waning can be very helpful for this. If you have already got good at spotting negative thoughts, getting into your head (sounds as though you have) - W & W will help you get the confidence that you can get your erections back from being totally flaccid. It helps if you can build up a bank of erotic thoughts in your head that you know help you. I wish all men across the world were taught that it is perfectly normal for their erection to go up and down during sex but they normally donāt notice. Once you start noticing/spectatoring - that is when it gets problematic. If you can go back to the exercises, get your confidence back with arousing yourself with no visual stimulation and lots of lube. If you are away with your partner it might be āfunā to suggest some non penetrative play - make the rule youāre not allowed! Tease yourselves - it can really help. Sounds like you are getting there, doing really well! - donāt panic. : )
2 Likes
Hi Chapsā¦ Iāve been on mojo for a whileā¦ and this ādead zoneā when going for the condom is a big oneā¦
ā¦and my particular issueā¦
Mojo has helped ā¦ and increased my strike rate really wellā¦ I have to say I got āside trackedā this weekā¦ at that KEY MOMENT ā I got into my head ā¦ and FCUKā¦ hard on goneā¦ very fcukin annoyingā¦ and Iād been doing sooo wellā¦.
My viewā¦ā¦ 3 forwardā¦ 1 backā¦ā¦ butā¦. Still its 3 forwardā¦. I know Iām gonna get thisā¦ Iām focussing in relaxingā¦ Iām revising wax and waneā¦ becauseā¦ what I KNOW from experienceā¦ the quicker I relax and get out of my head ā¦ the quicker I get hardā¦ā¦
Frustratedā¦ yesā¦ down hearted ā¦ a bitā¦. Giving upā¦ no fuckin wayā¦ā¦
Iāve been in a number of relationships ( Iām a āmatureā guy) and this is the first time this situation has struck meā¦ which is a shock ā¦. Butā¦
Iām going to enjoy sexā¦ and instigate sex without fear of failureā¦.
ā¦ā¦come onā¦.