Why the sudden change? Sudden ED mid sex

My girlfriend and I have been traveling for a few weeks with another couple and have not had a chance to “get it on” since being in another country (about two weeks).

Mojo was helping a lot up until we left for the trip, and I hadn’t had any issues and I felt like our communication on my sudden ED was helping. Finally, last night we were trying to get sexy. I was hard and excited, but the second I started to try to stick it in, I thought I was about to cum. Because of this, I went to get a condom.

Even though it only took about 30 seconds to grab a condom and put it on, during that time I started getting into my own head and started getting soft. This isn’t the first time this has happened where if I get up to get a condom or her vibrator when things are going well, that I’ll all of a sudden start worrying about getting soft.

Maybe I’m also in my head that we haven’t done anything in a few weeks and I worry I’m losing the progress that I’ve made. I’m not sure how I can stay in the moment and stay hard during the time when I’m trying to put on a condom, especially when things are going so well up to that point

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Is it better to get out the condom but only put it on after you’ve gone back to your partner and put it nearer to her vagina ( it’s virtually about to go in). Put it on only then ?

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Dude I feel this.
When I’ve been with new partners, obviously, safety is paramount. But when I stop what I’m doing to focus on putting on the condom, my inner critc starts yelling “theres no sensation! hurry up! your gonna lose it!” This kicks on fight or flight, and I Indeed lose my erection.

What I’ve been doing as recent is telling myself that yes, there isn’t any sensation, and yes your penis may get softer as is common when having sex. You will get it back, it’s OK, this is all part of the act of Intercourse. I feel as though it may be because we are having such a great time having Foreplay and then your mind switches to the act of getting a condom as a separate thing entirely. It’s not, it’s all part of the dance.

If I’m feeling anxious and I know that this could be an issue, I try to keep the condom close by and when the time comes, ask my partner to stimulate me while I get the condom ready so the transition is more seamless.

Hope this helps!


The waxing and waning can be very helpful for this. If you have already got good at spotting negative thoughts, getting into your head (sounds as though you have) - W & W will help you get the confidence that you can get your erections back from being totally flaccid. It helps if you can build up a bank of erotic thoughts in your head that you know help you. I wish all men across the world were taught that it is perfectly normal for their erection to go up and down during sex but they normally don’t notice. Once you start noticing/spectatoring - that is when it gets problematic. If you can go back to the exercises, get your confidence back with arousing yourself with no visual stimulation and lots of lube. If you are away with your partner it might be ‘fun’ to suggest some non penetrative play - make the rule you’re not allowed! Tease yourselves - it can really help. Sounds like you are getting there, doing really well! - don’t panic. : )


Hi Chaps… I’ve been on mojo for a while… and this “dead zone” when going for the condom is a big one…
…and my particular issue…
Mojo has helped … and increased my strike rate really well… I have to say I got “side tracked” this week… at that KEY MOMENT “ I got into my head … and FCUK… hard on gone… very fcukin annoying… and I’d been doing sooo well….
My view…… 3 forward… 1 back…… but…. Still its 3 forward…. I know I’m gonna get this… I’m focussing in relaxing… I’m revising wax and wane… because… what I KNOW from experience… the quicker I relax and get out of my head … the quicker I get hard……

Frustrated… yes… down hearted … a bit…. Giving up… no fuckin way……

I’ve been in a number of relationships ( I’m a “mature” guy) and this is the first time this situation has struck me… which is a shock …. But…

I’m going to enjoy sex… and instigate sex without fear of failure….

……come on….