Listening to the man speak, I realised that recently when I watch porn it hasn’t been for pleasure but a sort of self-destructive habit to release me from the real world. As it has been my only link to sex, the negative feelings I have had recently watching porn has made me go far from sex altogether too. I think it is time to address the other areas of concern in my life and come back to porn when I can use it healthily
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Really enlightening to learn that the average length for partnered sex is only 2-8 minutes. Porn and cultural expectations were really messing with my head convincing me I needed to stay rock hard for 30+ minutes to have good sex. Also the concept that sex does not always have to end in an orgasm. Also interesting to learn there is no science behind the idea of porn being habit forming in the brain, this made me feel much better about my porn use
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My existing sexual anxiety issues and psychosexual issues were specific to me, or so I thought. It’s encouraging to know that there’s other people experiencing the same thing. It’s also encouraging to know that poor use is a manifestation of this, and perhaps not the cause of it.
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I have found since trying to masturbate without porn that my orgasms have actually become more intense
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Porn desensitizes me to the real thing
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Feeling like an addict and continuing to isolate through porn are probably more damaging to me than the porn itself
This advice seems contradictory to other information I’ve researched, but it makes sense
I subconsciously get exposed to unrealistic expectations, which can be bad
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I wish there was a bit more detail on the ‘self-soothing’ side of the coin when it comes to porn. I think I handle the unrealistic expectation piece well enough but I know the mindless habit to watch porn and jerk off before bed, even if I don’t feel horny is my real issue.
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I don’t think I watch porn in any ways mentioned, but it has desensitized me a bit.
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I have developed a habit of only being able to get turned on when masturbating by watching porn. Just using my imagination doesn’t get me there. I think this is an unhealthy connection, so I have stopped watching porn and I am trying to retrain myself to focus on fantasy and touch, which I think will improve my awareness and responsiveness in the bedroom.
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I relate
That male actors take drugs to enhance performance. That sex lasts an avg of 2-8 min. That a stunt double is called in, when the male actor can’t finish. Porn isn’t really as ‘perfect’ as it seems shouldn’t be the standard to which we compare ourselves to.
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I definitely relate to that. I’ve tried imagination and it’s awfully difficult while it’s significantly easier just to see it in porn.
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Watching more and more extreme bdsm porn has changed the way I think about sex in both good and bad ways. I do like bdsm roleplays, but I don’t need to re-enact the extreme things I see in porn.
The metaphor of the fast and the furious movies was helpful for me.
I don’t have issues about the unrealistic nature as some of the stuff I watch is more amateur/real. However I think it’s just become a habit of something to do to procrastinate and self soothe and definitely makes me feel guilty/ashamed as it replaces intimacy with my partner.
I think I mostly just feel some shame around porn, and don’t want to talk about it with my wife, who by I think then leads to some underlying anxiety and makes my erection issues worse
I think I’ve created a habit where as I cannot get aroused without watching actual porn. This has taken away my ability to get hard from touch or even my partner. I’m over week into no porn or masturbation and I feel like my libido is gone. Feeling lost here…
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Porn itself isn’t bad and doesn’t have to be a crutch! Being mindful is where it’s at
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A similar thing happened to me. I ended up quitting watching entirely for weeks, only tried to use my imagination, photos and teasing videos but not the actual act. I also opened the discussion with my future partners after this and while some didn’t care, I found someone who’s very understanding and is helping me to rebuild myself on that front