I’d appreciate any advice on PE, I have no erection issues , I can get it up on demand and stay hard for extended periods however, I seem to cum very quickly after penetration or receiving a BJ, sometimes less than a minute. I feel like my penis head is too sensitive on the underside, or is this just in my head? My partner can fondle with my penis for 30 mins at a time, and there’s no PE
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Hi mate, I’m in completely the same situation as you and also trying to figure it out at the moment. I’ll just put down some stuff here, maybe some of it will resonate with your situation too.
I’m wondering if some of the problem could be that I over-anticipate stuff mentally and don’t tune into my own sensations. I grew up watching porn way before I had sex the first time, and I think all that fantasising about sex has still lingered. Whenever someone is about to go down on me I get really into my head and just start thinking about the fact that she’s about to give me a BJ, and then I normally cum soon after that. I’ve also never really enjoyed the feeling of vaginal sex (I like the intimacy though), but just sort of do it for her/because it’s what you do. Plus because I’ve cum quickly most times I often just try to tune out of the sensations so I don’t climax too hard/so she doesn’t notice, which is probably counterproductive.
So for me I think I’ve got to start enjoying the feelings of sex again, and figure out my own rhythms and stuff. Until recently I never masturbated with lube, and I’ve become really lazy with how I do it. The mindful masturbation techniques here have been really helpful for tuning into and enjoying the sensations around my penis, and not just racing to the finish. I’ve found that I’ve stopped trying to imagine sexual situations when I masturbate, and started focusing a lot more on my own physical pleasure. I also bought some lube recently and started using that which is great. It’s so much nearer to the sensations in partnered sex, and because I know I’m in control I can tune into how they feel and focus on controlling my arousal in a more positive and enjoyable way.
I’ve also been thinking through my sexual history a bit, and trying to figure out any threads that have run through. I think I’ve always been really curious about sex, but haven’t always cultivated that curiosity in a very healthy or constructive context. I’m avoiding porn now, which I’ve always had mixed feelings of shame and pleasure about, and trying not to just fall into sexual encounters because I sense another person is expecting it. I’m trying basically to reclaim a bit of my own sexual territory, and enjoy all the sensations my body can feel in a safe and positive way.
I haven’t yet had partnered sex since deciding to make this change, and to be honest I wouldn’t be surprised if the results aren’t super clear when I do. But I’m learning techniques to control arousal and enjoy things in a slower and more conscious way which I’m sure won’t hurt, and it feels like a step in the right direction.
Sorry for the long story, hopefully some of it might be helpful.
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Thanks both for sharing! I can resonate with both stories.
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